Deals With the Proverbial Devil
by lordsesshomaru2
Summary: When Mabel's beloved sock opera goes horribly wrong, Wendy is presented with an opportunity to fix it, but nothing is ever easy when you make a deal with a demon. Especially one that loves to play games.
1. The Sock Opera Massacre

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Disney and Alex Hirsch.**

**Author's Note: For those of you who read the previous version of this chapter, welcome back. I plan to try and put up a new chapter every Sunday, or at least every other Sunday. If any of you have some comments or suggestions that you think could improve the chapter, feel free to leave a review or shot me a PM. I will try to take those into consideration, as I will likely continue to work on the chapters I have posted while working on the new ones. I would kindly ask that you refrain from telling me what direction the story should take, as I have the story all planned out, I just need to flesh it out into these chapters. **

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Sock Opera Massacre**

Wendy had to admit, for something that Mabel threw together in just a couple of days, the Sock Opera wasn't half bad. Though she had to question the wisdom of Mabel playing all of the parts in the play. It was clearly doing something to her vocal chords, as post-intermission Mabel sounded like her voice was cracking. Wendy was content to ignore it until she saw a shadowy figure climbing up the catwalk over the stage. She nudged Soos.

"Hey, is there supposed to be someone up there during the play." She asked, pointing at the shadowy figure. Soos scratched his chin in befuddlement.

"No, during simple plays such as this, it is bad form to have someone up on the catwalk, not to mention a liability. Due to the proximity of the lights to that particular catwalk, it is not uncommon for the flashing of the lights to throw off a person's perception, often causing accidents." Soos informed her. When he noticed her gaping gaze upon him, he shrugged. "You learn a lot doing part-time jobs. That being said, that mysterious figure looks an awful lot like Mabel, and if Mabel is up there, then who is performing?"

Stan snorted from the other side of Soos, "Please, after spending so much time on...whatever this is, Mabel wouldn't dare hand over the reins to anyone else. It's probably her friends, Grendal and Dandy."

"Pretty sure that's not their names, but whoever it is, they need to get down from there before someone gets hurt." Wendy noted. It appeared that nobody else noticed the mysterious figure above the stage, so the play went on until the figure fell from catwalk with a screech. Wendy watched in horror as Mabel tumbled to the floor with a thunderous crash. The whole theatre was eerily silent with shock, everyone trying to comprehend that they likely had just seen someone die. The silence was broken by the wailing of the fire alarm as Dipper burst out from the curtains.

"There's a fire in the back, everyone get out." He cried, and with that, the moment was broken. People all across the theatre began to scramble out of their seats, all trying to be the first out the door so that they would not be trampled by the stronger members of the crowd. Wendy remained rooted in her seat, just as her father taught her, idly watching the river of humanity flow around her spot, while Stan and Soos fought their way towards Mabel. Dipper had mysteriously vanished back behind the curtains, probably to try and put the fire out himself.

As Wendy watched the carnage going on around her in the theatre, she reflected on some of the lessons that her father passed on to her and her brothers. Manly Dan was not one for a lecture, in his opinion, if the lesson couldn't be learned through practice, then it probably wasn't a lesson worth learning. That being said, the only exception to that rule was what to do when a panic occurred in a crowded building.

* * *

_The morning sun was barely up, and fog rolled across the ground in a scene that would have belonged in any master painting. If only twelve year-old Wendy could have been watching the view from inside a heated building, but instead she was in a tree with her family, watching a gathering of different wild animals grazing in the field below._

_"A crowded building is one of the most dangerous places for a person to be in," her father whispered from his perch beside her, "the group gives a feeling of security, but the moment things go wrong, that security becomes a trap."_

_"Pretty certain the nearest building is five miles that direction." Wendy retorted as she pointed back the way they came from. She didn't bother to look at her father, she could feel the heat of his glare on the side of her face, or maybe it was the sun._

_"Watch carefully." Dan growled as he unslung the rifle he had brought along from his shoulder, taking careful aim at the field below. Normally Wendy would comment on the fact that they had plenty of food back home, but she had a feeling that her remarks wouldn't be welcome at the moment. Instead, she simply covered her ears, and waited. Her father paused, slowly exhaled, and squeezed the trigger. Though she had covered her ears enough to prevent the gunshot from hurting, she felt her chest vibrate from the report. But that wasn't what held her attention._

_Once Dan had fired the rifle, the field erupted into chaos. All of the animals were running every which way in an effort to escape, and the results were gruesome to say the least. A buck gored a fawn trying to escape while the doe tripped over a rabbit that crossed its path, causing the deer to slam headfirst to the ground. Several birds collided in midair before they tumbled from the sky with broken wings. The most terrible scene came from the bison. The moment the gunshot went off, the massive beasts wheeled about and as one body, charged across the field to escape, trampling everything in their path. A squirrel that ran out in front of the herd was reduced to a red smear on the ground. It was not the last animal to be ground underfoot. The scene was heart-wrenching to say the least. Her father pointed towards the center of the field, where a lone tree stood._

_"Look there" he stated, speaking at his normal volume now. Wendy watched the tree, and several minutes after the last of the capable animals escaped, she observed a lone raccoon climb down from the tree and calmly waddle off into the forest._

_"When everyone else is panicking and trying to escape, find someplace safe to wait out the initial rush, and then make your escape. Trying to make your escape at the same time will only result in death." Wendy never forgot that lesson, particularly since her father made them sit there for several more hours until the wolves that came in shortly after the carnage had eaten their fill and left._

* * *

Of course, Wendy reflected, her father never told her what to do when the person that caused the panic was running around and killing people, causing further terror. Shortly after Stan and Soos had reached Mabel's body, Dipper had leapt out from his hiding place amongst the stage scenery and clobbered his Grunkle with a makeshift club made out of a chair leg and some nails. Before Soos could react, Dipper had slain the Mystery Shack handyman as well. He then turned his attention to the people scrambling about in terror once they realized that the doors were locked and they were trapped with a deranged boy. The scene of screaming people being cut down by a laughing twelve year old boy with noodle arms was as if she was watching a movie. She wanted to jump in and stop Dipper's rampage, but her body was paralyzed with confusion and fear. With her trembling body, she was not certain that she wouldn't simply fall over if she had been capable of standing up. It wasn't until the last person had fallen that the world came back into sharp focus, bringing on a sense of horror as she looked upon the bloodied monster that was Dipper Pines.

"Why." She croaked. Dipper straightened from his crouch over Mr. Pines body as he turned towards her.

"Oh, I missed one. Sorry Red," Dipper chortled, "Give me a moment and I'll deal with you then." He then turned back to the body and started to rummage through its pockets. Wendy felt a flash of anger and stood up.

"What did you do?" She asked, her question echoing across the theatre as she tried to keep too much of her anger from leeching into her voice. Dipper laughed, never ceasing his search of Mr. Pines pockets.

"Wow, Red. You sure are stupid. Clearly I killed them." He responded, as a matter of fact. A groan from somewhere near the doors caused him to pause. "Sorry, my mistake, I was trying to kill most of them."

Wendy gaped at him, uncertain of what to say. "Okay, who are you, Dipper would never do this."

"Clearly you don't know Pine Tree nearly as well as you think. I mean seriously, you spent most of your time with Stitched Heart, ignoring poor little Pine Tree, and you're surprised that this happened?" Wendy just stared at him for several moments, uncertain of who Stitched Heart was, before she responded.

"So what, are you some kind of split personality that came about because I don't return your feelings the way you want, I'm not buying it. In fact," she stated as she pulled out her pocket knife, "I'm pretty certain you're the shape-shifter from the bunker. Now where's Dipper?"

"Oh, please, as if I'm that lame excuse of a monster," Not-Dipper guffawed, "I'm soooooo much more. Ah, here it is." Not-Dipper stood up and revealed that he had been looking for Stan's own knife. "Now, if you would kindly scream for this next part, it'll be boring otherwise." Wendy brought up her knife, ready to defend herself from Not-Dipper, only to watch in shock as Not-Dipper jammed the blade into his stomach, drawing it across his abdomen, cackling the whole time. As he finished, Not-Dipper swayed and shuddered, falling to his knees. The pre-teen looked at his blood soaked body in confusion before looking up at Wendy.

"Wendy." He gasped, before collapsing. Wendy did not hesitate when she ran over to Dipper's fallen form. Whatever was going on here could be resolved after she saved Dipper. She pulled off her flannel shirt and balled it up before pressing it against Dipper's wound, even though she knew somewhere in the back of her mind that it was pointless. She had to try anyways.

"Dipper. Dipper. Wake up," Wendy ordered, reaching over and tapped his cheek, only to pull her hand back in horror as she felt the bones of Dipper's face shift around like bag of rocks. She thought she had imagined the various hits that Dipper had taken in the course of killing people in the theatre, but clearly her father's punch had landed, it just had not affected the boy's movement.

"Woo, now that was a riot! Literally." A voice behind her cackled. "I really have to make these sorts of deals more often." Wendy whipped her head around to see a glowing, yellow pyramid with one eye and a top hat. The pyramid reached a hand out towards her.

"Hi there, the name's Bill Cypher, immortal demon at your service. How would you like to make a deal?"


	2. Lets Make A Deal

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls is property of Disney and Alex Hirsch  
**

**Chapter 2: Let's Make a Deal**

Wendy stared at the floating pyramid, wondering if she had snapped as a result of watching everyone she knew and cared for be murdered. The pyramid kept its hand out for several moments longer before withdrawing it.

"What, is there something wrong with my face?" Wendy shook her head, not really knowing how to answer. The pyramid brought its hand to his face as he hemmed. He then snapped his fingers.

"I know, there must be something wrong with your face." He exclaimed, pointing at Wendy. "I can fix that." Wendy didn't know what he did, but when she felt her face start to melt and shift around, she screamed and stumbled backward away from pyramid, tripping over Dipper's body in the process. It laughed and slapped its knee at her plight.

"Oh man, that one's a classic. You should see the look on your face, its melting!" he chortled. With another snap of his fingers, Wendy felt her face revert to normal. She touched her face, making sure that everything was back where it belonged, she returned her gaze to the floating being.

"Who, what are you?" Wendy asked, afraid of the response. The pyramid smiled, or at least, she think it smiled. It was difficult to tell when the being had only an eye for a face.

"Why, I'm glad you asked. People around here call me Bill Cypher, and in case you couldn't tell, **I'M A DEMON**." Bill replied, his eye turning a crimson red at the end of his statement.

"Th-that's impossible, there's no such things as demons." Wendy denied, shaking her head frantically.

"Pft, and shape-shifters are an everyday occurrence." Bill retorted, "Speaking of shape-shifting, watch this." Bill snapped his fingers, and Wendy watched in horror as her father's body was levitated over to her, and Manly Dan's body began to contort and change shape with the cracking of bone and snapping of sinew into a grotesque parody of a balloon poodle.

After several moments of silence Bill shrugged, "Eh, balloon animals aren't really my thing," with that Dan's body dropped to the ground. Wendy started to back away, shaking her head in denial.

"Nononononononono, this isn't happening. This is just a bad dream you're in from falling asleep at Mabel's show. Yeah, that's it, I'm going to wake up any moment now." Wendy clenched her eyes shut for several moments before opening them again. Nothing changed. Everyone was dead or dying, and Bill was still floating over Dipper's body.

"You know, I heard that pinching can wake you up. Let me help." Bill stated, snapping his fingers. Wendy screamed in pain as she watched the skin around her elbow pinch over the joint until her forearm popped off, leaving smooth unblemished skin. "Oh, that looked painful. Do you need a _hand_?" Bill chuckled. If Wendy wasn't so terrified, she probably would have groaned at the lame pun.

"Why are you doing this?" she screamed, wanting the nightmare end, if only for as long as Bill was willing to talk. Bill gave her that weird eye smile again as he twirled his cane in a relaxed manner.

"If you really must know, I want to escape Gravity Falls, explore the world, gain some creepy cult followings; you know, the usual stuff. But so long as there are people living here in Gravity Falls, I can't leave without some long, convoluted ritual that Pine tree here was close to learning about. And knowing him, he would try to stop me. So I originally came here to destroy that journal of his, but I realized that there's a much quicker option. If half the town were to suddenly be killed, then the other half would flee as soon as possible, thus allowing me to leave. But I can't just kill people that easily, it takes a lot of energy to make the physical manifestation necessary to allow me to kill people in a more…personal manner, so I needed a vessel, and that's where my deal with Pine Tree came in." Wendy stared at him in confusion.

"Why would Dipper ever make a deal with you?"

"When people are told that they can't have something…they get…desperate." Bill told her, staring straight at her. Wendy felt her heart twist in her chest; surely he couldn't be referring her and Dipper's talk outside of the bunker. Their stare-down was interrupted by the sound of a cough echoing throughout the theatre. Bill turned to the sound, gazing over the dead bodies.

"Hmm, it appears that you're not the only one I missed Red, I'll be back in just a moment. There's someone **I HAVE TO KILL**." But before Bill could float over towards the sound, one of the previously dead bodies stood up and took off towards the exit. Bill paused, and idly watched the figure, who Wendy now recognized was Robbie, try to push the exit doors open. They rattled, but ultimately refused to budge. Robbie turned and took off for another exit, but before he could get there, Bill snapped his fingers and Robbie's leg turned with a loud pop, his knee dislocating. Robbie screamed in pain as he fell to the ground, curling up as he held his leg. Bill snapped his fingers again, and an invisible force dragged Robbie back towards the pyramid. Robbie clawed at the ground in desperation, only to scream in pain as several of his nails popped off. Once he reached Bill, Robbie was floated upside down in the air to Bill's eye level.

"What to do with you," Bill murmured to himself, "I mean, I'm obviously going to have to kill you, but how to do it?" Wendy, seeing an opportunity, picked up her disconnected forearm.

"Fore!" Bill turned in surprise, only to see the Wendy's forearm pass through his being. Bill looked at the forearm and back to Wendy, before pointing back at the forearm.

"Did you just yell _fore_ while throwing your forearm at me?" Wendy glared at him defiantly.

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" Bill stared at her for several moments before he roared with laughter.

"Oh, geez, that," he paused to take a breath, "that was a good one. I mean, yelling _fore _while throwing your _fore_arm? That's priceless." Bill's laughter tapered off, he sighed and then pointed at Robbie. "Why would you protect him anyway, I mean, you guys broke up on some pretty bad terms if I remember correctly." Wendy nodded.

"That's true, and my relationship with him was probably one of the worst mistakes I made all summer," she ignored the cry of protest from the upside down Goth, "but he's still my friend, and friends don't just stand around when other friends are in serious trouble." Bill rubbed the back of his pyramid head in a sheepish manner.

"Well then, this is about to get awkward really quick." Bill snickered, before snapping his fingers. Instantly, like some invisible arm had a hold of him, Robbie was bashed against the ground several times before his body from the waist down was twisted in one direction with his upper body being twisted in the other until the two halves separated with a meaty pop, spilling blood and organs everywhere.

"Sorry about that, I had to make sure this time that he was really dead. And I mean **REALLY DEAD**." Bill chuckled. Wendy stared at Robbie's remains with a tide of anger rising inside of her. She had been telling Bill the truth, that while she utterly regretted starting a relationship with the insecure boy, he had still been her friend. And she had been powerless to help him in his time of need. Her eyes returned to Bill, who had remained where he was, still nonchalant as when he appeared. Wendy was torn, she wanted to hurt Bill, to scream at him and make him pay for what he had done; but she also wanted to run away, escape from any further madness before the demon got bored playing with her. Bill took the decision away from her.

"You know, you can save them. All of them." Bill stated as he inspected his non-existent nails. Wendy stared at him, confused; as far as she could tell, nearly everyone in the theatre was dead, and the ones that weren't, would be dead soon.

"I don't understand." Wendy questioned. Bill snickered.

"I want to play a little game, Red. I'll use all of the magic generated here, and I'll send you back to before this whole "sock opera" even started. Your goal is to stop the plans I made for today. You do that, everyone here lives."

Wendy narrowed her eyes at the floating pyramid. "And if I lose?"

"Then you hand over your body to me; just for a little while." Bill drawled, "Of course, there are some rules you have to follow. You can't tell anyone what you're doing until after today, and you can't kill anyone you didn't already kill; time continuity and all that boring stuff. If you break them; well, we end up back here."

"But I haven't killed anyone." Wendy retorted.

"Then you shouldn't have any problems." Bill chortled. Wendy went to message her temples from the headache that was forming, only to stop when she remembered that she was still missing half of an arm.

"I need a moment to decide." Wendy sighed. Bill tsked in response.

"Just so you know you don't have much time. In about a minute, those explosives Mabel stole for this show of hers are going to go off, killing everyone still here." Wendy gaped at him.

"What!?" she screeched, "How the heck did Mabel get her hands on explosives."

"You have a decision to make here," Bill stated, ignoring her question, "You can either opt to save someone that is still alive," he snapped his fingers, causing the once sealed doors to blast open, "I personally recommend Pine Tree, he might be in terrible shape, but he could still make it, or you can play my little game."

Wendy worried her lip, uncertain of what to do. All of the movies and books warned against making deals with demons, because they were tricksters by trade, but the deal he was offering seemed pretty straight forward. When he sent Wendy back to before the Sock Opera, she could simply tie Dipper up until everyone got back from the play; no killing needed, and she wouldn't have to tell anyone anything. Seemed simple enough. She looked up at the patiently waiting Bill, and extended her hand to him.

"Alright, you have a deal." She murmured.

"Excellent. Have a nice trip, try to not fall on your face." Bill sniggered as he took her hand in his flame covered own. Before Wendy could question what he had said, the world started to spin, slowly at first, gradually accelerating to just a blur, and then darkness.


	3. A New Day

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls is property of Alex Hirsch and Disney.**

**I would like to thank the people who reviewed, favorited, and/or followed this story.**

**Chapter 3: A New Day**

"Wendy, get up, you're going to be late for work!" Manly Dan bellowed. Startled, Wendy's body tried to leap out of bed, but the entanglement of her legs in the sheets caused to her trip and fall. Wendy lay there silently breathing in the woody scent of her bedroom as her face throbbed from its meeting with the floor. She vaguely heard the front door shut, meaning that her family had left for a long day of chopping down trees, leaving her home alone.

After extracting herself from the sheets, she sat on the floor as she tried to puzzle out everything that had just transpired. "Ok, clearly it was all just a bad dream. I mean, demons and time travel, this isn't one of Dippers fantasy books." She told herself uncertainly. It had all felt so real, more vivid than any dream she had ever had before. Wendy punched her fist into her other hand.

"I can't take any chances; I'm going to have to act like it really happened." Wendy determined, "So I'm going to go to the Mystery Shack, find Dipper, and tie him up so that he can't hurt anyone. Oh hey, my hand's back."

Twenty minutes later, after wasting 10 minutes looking for clean clothes when Wendy could have sworn that she had done her laundry the day before, Wendy arrived at the Mystery Shack.

"What's going on?" she remarked to herself. The Mystery Shack looked like itself, but it felt alien to her. Especially with all of the construction workers swarming around it appearing to build some sort of pavilion near it. But it was all of the little things about it as well. The 'S' was still attached to the building and there was a noticeable lack of Mabel running around in preparation for her Sock Opera. Wendy only waited a few moments before going down to figure out what was happening, heading straight for Stan, who was busy talking to the foreman of the crew.

"Sup, Mr. Pines." Wendy greeted him with a wave. Stan waved her off as he continued to talk with the foreman, gesticulating widely. Wendy shrugged and went off to find Dipper and Mabel, or maybe Soos; someone had to know what was going on.

* * *

"And this Mister Coder, is the gift shop."

"I know, Qu-Soos; this was the first thing you showed me on the tour." A voice chuckled.

"And so it is, for all journeys must end at their beginning."

"I don't know how to respond to that."

This was what Wendy heard as she walked into the Mystery Shack. Soos was talking to a blonde-haired man with a beret she had never seen before, though she felt that she knew him. Soos waved at her, before gesturing to the blond beside him.

"Hey Wendy, come meet our new co-worker, Will Coder. He's going to be in charge of the new attraction Stan's building, _Mystery Eats_." The man raised his hand in greeting.

"Hey Red, how's the hand?" Wendy gaped at him in shock, suddenly realizing where she recognized him from. She lunged forward, punching him in the nose.

"I don't know, why don't you tell me?" she mocked. Will, no, Bill, giggled from behind his hands. Soos glanced between the two of them.

"So, uh Wendy, is this another one of your exes? Because if he is, this is going to be awkward, not to mention against Stan's rules." Soos asked. Wendy glared at him, causing Soos to step back.

"No, but let me borrow him for a minute." Wendy said, gritting her teeth. She grabbed Bill by his sleeve and dragged him into the employees' only area, ignoring the man's complaints about her damaging the shirt. Once the door had closed behind them, Wendy pressed him against the wall.

"What's the deal, Bill. Are you here to destroy the Mystery Shack, because I won't let you. And where are the Dipper and Mabel?" Wendy pressed. Bill chuckled as he adjusted his black beret back into its proper position.

"Me, destroy the Mystery Shack? Where would you ever get that idea toots?" Wendy growled, slamming him against the wall.

"I don't know, maybe when you killed my friends and family?"

"Oh you mean that. That's all in the past; oops, I mean future." Bill joked. "Besides, I'm here for more important matters."

"What could be more important than the fact that you killed an entire theatre filled with people?" Bill grinned at Wendy's question, his lips pulling back to inhuman lengths, revealing all of his teeth in an eerie grin. It reminded Wendy that the person she was dealing with was not human in the slightest.

"Surely you haven't forgotten our little wager regarding the lives of all of those people?" Bill chortled. Wendy frowned, remembering the deal the two had made in that blood stained theatre.

"Of course not, but that still doesn't explain why you're here."

"Don't worry about it Red, I'm just here play referee. You know, make sure that you **FOLLOW THE** **RULES**." Bill's eyes flashed from obsidian to gold for a few moments, before returning to black. "I suggest that you tread carefully here, Red. Time travel can have some serious…ripple effects when you go back. Not everything is as you remember. And here's a tip before you start enacting any plans you might have. Dipper wasn't the one who summoned me."

His face fell flat, returning to a human look just as the employee door burst open.

"Wendy, if I told you once, I've told you a thousand times, no sex with your boyfriends on my property." Mr. Pines declared as he stomped in. Wendy stared at him in shock, not only had Stan used a tone she had never heard from him, but his statement had surprised her. Mostly because she had not had sex yet, she had been too busy helping her father to raise her three brothers when they were too young to chop down trees, and the closest she had gotten after they became old enough to help her father was Robbie on that night with the mind-control song he stole.

"Mr. Pines, you know I wouldn't do that." Wendy replied, shocked. Stan stared at her for several long moments.

"If you say so. Now what's this I hear about you harassing my new cash cow, er…employee?" Stan questioned. Wendy was saved from having to make up a story on the spot by the new employee himself.

"Just a case of mistaken identity, Mr. Pines. How's the project coming along?" Bill asked as he freed himself from Wendy's hold.

"The foreman said that it would all be finished tomorrow," Stan smiled, "with your food truck and my showmanship, we're going to make more money than ever before." He turned to Wendy, "Why are you still standing here, don't you have cashier duty."

"Er, I was just wondering where Dipper and Mabel are." Wendy questioned. Stan glared at her for several long moments.

"They won't be here until tonight; they had to get on a later bus since Mabel was caused them to miss it when she took too long saying goodbye to one of her friends. Try to keep yourself clean around the twins, and for that matter, no _side jobs_, while they're here." Stan answered shortly, poking her in the chest with his cane. Wendy felt dizzy, sure Stan had treated her a little shabbily at times, but this was downright mean.

"Sure, whatever you say Mr. Pines." Wendy murmured as she walked out of the room to her post at the register.

* * *

The next few hours were a blur of outward boredom, but an inward churning of emotions; so not much different from before in Wendy's case. Wendy spent the down time during her shift planning her next steps in "Plan: Stop the Massacre". Despite Bill ignoring her question about where the twins were, Wendy wasn't stupid, she got the lay of the land when her boss informed her that the twins weren't going to show up until later. Clearly, when Bill had said that she would be going back to before the Sock Opera even started, he took advantage of the wording to send her back to the beginning of the summer. While she wanted to question the wisdom of giving her more time, she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. She would figure out a way to stop Bill's plan. The big question was how. She initially figured that if she stopped Dipper from getting the Journal that he was always reading, she could prevent a lot of things from occurring, but if what Bill said was true, then Dipper would need the Journal to defend himself from the creatures in Gravity Falls.

'Bill said that Dipper only made the deal because I turned him down,' Wendy felt her stomach churn uncomfortably as her thoughts began to take a slightly darker turn. 'if I don't have that conversation outside the bunker, and let him think that he has a chance…then Bill won't have a vessel to use during the sock opera. And if I let him think that even earlier, Dipper will probably bring me along on some of those adventures of theirs, and I could steer them clear of some of the dangers. Maybe I could even prevent Bill from being summoned to begin with.' Wendy nodded to herself, her plans set. While she was certain that her actions would result in her losing one of the best friends she'd ever had before the summer was over, the lives of the people in that theatre would have to outweigh her wants.


	4. The Plan Hits a Snag

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Alex Hirsch and Disney.**

**Chapter 4: The Plan Hits a Snag**

Wendy was mildly disappointed when her shift ended long before the twins arrived, but she needed to get home to butter up her dad into letting her go from part-time to full-time employee at the Shack. She knew that would be a huge change in the timeline, considering that she had only been a part-timer for the Mystery Shack last time, but her plan called for her to be close to Dipper for her plan to work. Granted, she could have probably done everything without being full-time as the pair had gotten rather close before. But with over 100 people's lives at stake, she did not want to take any chances.

So it was with some urgency that she biked to the grocery store and picked up the ingredients for her father's favorite casserole along with a 32oz steak as the main course. Select, and the older the cow was at time of slaughter the better; if it didn't have gristle to chew on, it wasn't manly enough for Manly Dan. Her brothers and herself would share another 32oz cut into different sizes; 16oz for the eldest boy, Paul; 8oz for the middle boy, Joseph; and 4oz for the baby of the family, Jason. Wendy would end up with the last 4oz.

* * *

Several hours later, Wendy was getting ready to put the steaks on the family's cast iron griddle so that they would be ready just as her family got home from their day at the lumberyard when there was a knock at the door. Wendy stared in surprise at the door, the only people that had ever knocked at the Corduroy's door had been the Pines, and Soos. Nobody else came up this far out of town. Well, Robbie had when they were dating, but he just sat outside honking the horn or throwing pebbles at her window until Wendy came out. Something about liking the arrangement of his limbs.

"It's open." Wendy called out. If she had been surprised before, she was absolutely flabbergasted when saw her father timidly peek through the doorway before coming into their home, followed by her brothers. Manly Dan tiptoed around nobody, except maybe her mother when she had been alive.

"Everything alright dad?" Her father looked at her startled.

"No, no, everything's fine. I just didn't expect you to be in so early. We might have picked something up before coming home." He replied, rambling.

"Where else would I be?" Her father gave her a flustered look before shrugging.

"Maybe out with your friends." One of her brothers, Paul most likely, snorted from behind her father's massive frame, only to yelp a moment later.

"Well, regardless, I thought you guys could deserve a special meal. I made your favorite casserole with a 32oz steak cooked rare." There was silence for several moments before the boys started fighting over who got the largest portion after their father.

* * *

Wendy waited until her father had finished off his casserole, and was busy chewing on his steak before she decided to ask him for anything.

Carefully cutting into her own steak, she nonchalantly spoke, "So, dad, I was thinking about going full-time at the Mystery Shack, focus on that and maybe babysitting the Pines Twins that came up today."

There was silence around the table as everyone stopped eating. Wendy looked up at her family to see her brothers staring to her side, where her father sitting. She looked at her father, concerned, only to see him staring at her with misty eyes.

"You mean that?" he whispered. Wendy was starting to feel a bit freaked out from her father's behavior.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" What happened next was probably the greatest surprise of the day. Manly Dan sniffed, and broke out bawling as he swept her up in a bone-crushing hug. She could vaguely make out him bellowing that he would be okay with her plan to go full-time, but the pain of her ribs was kind of blurring everything around her.

"Air, I need air." She croaked as she started pushing against the engulfing hug. Her father dropped her back in her seat before rubbing her head harshly as he resumed eating with a lighter air about him.

'What's up with that?' Wendy thought to herself as she resumed eating.

* * *

The next morning, Wendy woke up earlier than she ever had before. Determined to get an early start on her plans to thwart Bill, she was confident that the first step in doing so would be convincing Stan to give her a full time job at the Mystery Shack. Her reception upon arrival deflated her confidence like a popped balloon.

"What are you doing here so early?" Stan grouched at her, "I thought people like you didn't get up until noon."

"People like who, Grunkle Stan?" Stan turned around to see Mabel, Dipper, and Will standing behind him.

"Er, uh, Teens! You know, teens are always sleeping in and lounging about like good for nothin's" Stan replied. Will brightened as he saw Wendy standing on the front porch.

"Oh, hey Re-Wendy. What a pleasant surprise, did you come to join us for the company breakfast?" Will inquired. Stan shot a look at him.

"Company breakfast, when did the offer for daily breakfast become a company breakfast." Stan grumbled. Will pointed back to the kitchen.

"Since Soos showed up, I thought why not?" upon seeing Stan's glare, he waved his hands in a pacifying gesture, "All on my dime of course."

Stan gave a grunt before he headed back to kitchen. Will followed him, presumably to fix breakfast. Wendy turned to the twins, who were staring up at her. Dipper was watching her with a wary gaze, while Mabel was looking at her with a face that she had seen on sweater-wearing girl before, but never directed towards her. Wendy gave them a small wave.

"Hey there, I'm your co-worker, Wendy. What are your guys' names?" Dipper gave her a confused and frightened look.

"D-D-Dipper." The boy stammered. Wendy frowned inwardly, as Dipper had never been this nervous around her before, especially not before he had developed his crush on her; was this one of the ripple effects that Cipher had talked about? Wendy turned her attention to Mabel, who looked like she was about to explode with excitement. Before Wendy could say anything, the younger girl erupted in a deluge of words and motion.

"HiI'mMabel,you'recuteohmygoshisn'tshecuteDipperdoyouwanttogoonadate!" Mabel screeched in one unintelligible breath as she bounced up and down while waving her arms. Wendy tried to process what she said as Dipper turned to his sister, giving her a mild slap to the arm.

"Mabel, you know what Mom and Dad said, _No girls while staying with your Grunkle._" Dipper stated, before turning to Wendy. "I'm really sorry about that, Mabel sometimes gets over-excited."

Wendy looked towards Mabel uncertainly, "Mr. Pines never mentioned that you're a lesbian."

Mabel guffawed, "Lesbian, pshaw, I'm bisexual, everyone deserves some of the Mabel love."

Dipper glared at the doorway behind Wendy. "It's not that, Mabel's not attracted to females, she's attracted to the lack of rules regarding when it's okay to have sex with them. That and an unhealthy fascination with boobs."

"Who wouldn't be fascinated with boobs, Dipper? They're like stress balls that you always have on you." His twin retorted, before sighing dreamily, "I can't wait to get my own."

The riveting conversation was halted when Will called out from the kitchen that breakfast was ready to be served. Dipper darted off while Mabel followed him chanting, "Breakfast! Breakfast! Breakfast!"

Wendy stared after them with a cold ball in the pit of her stomach. The twins were extremely different from what she remembered, and she wasn't certain that her plan would work anymore.

* * *

The only space open for Wendy to sit at was between Mabel, who was clearly leering at Wendy; and Dipper, who was staring at her with suspicion as he put his arm around his bowl, protecting it from attempts to steal his food. Wendy suppressed a shudder as she sat down between the twins, only to lurch to the side with a yelp, mashing herself against Dipper when she felt a hand seize her thigh.

"Mabel, quit that, she's your co-worker and I won't stand for any fraternization between my employees." Mr. Pines ordered, pointing his fork at her in an accusatory manner. Mabel grumbled and brought her hand back up on the table. Wendy detached herself from a frozen Dipper with a murmured apology as she went to eat from her bowl, courtesy of Will. The food in the bowl was some sort of mixture of eggs, meat, cheese and potatoes; giving it a rather unappetizing appearance. Across from her, Soos gave an appreciative noise as he ate his food.

"Say Mr. Coder, this is delicious, what is it?" the handyman inquired.

"This is one of the items on the _Mystery Eats_ menu starting today. I call it _Sascrotch Droppings_." Will chuckled. Everyone at the table paused in their eating. Soos raised his hand.

"Question, are they real droppings?"

"Of course not, Soos, the Sascrotch isn't real." Stan retorted, "By the way, you got anymore brilliant marketing ideas, because I'm certain that I can give you some tips."

"No need, I got plenty of ideas from the Mystery Shack, like _Pancake That Looks like a Face_, the pancake that looks like a face; and the _Bottomless Pita_." Will stated, waving his hand out towards the horizon. "We're going to be rolling in the dough, literally."

Wendy turned to Dipper, who had quietly been eating his _Sascrotch Droppings_, "Awfully quiet there Dipper. Everything all right?"

Dipper froze, staring at her like a deer in the headlights as she waited for a reply. Before he got a chance to answer, Wendy shrieked when Mabel reached over and mauled her breast.

"Boop!"

"Mabel!" half the table bellowed at her.

* * *

**Author's note: Before any of readers get offended about anything you read in this chapter and future chapters, just remember, _everything has a purpose_.**


	5. Time Traveler Trapped? Part 1

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs Alex Hirsch and Disney.**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Time Traveler Trapped? Part 1**

After the twins arrival, Wendy decided to wait a couple of days before asking her boss about babysitting Mabel and Dipper.

"So, Mr. Pines, I was noticing that sometimes you're quite busy around the Shack." Wendy drawled as she dusted some of the shelves while Stan was busy counting the till.

"I'm not hiring one of your loser friends to work at the shack." Stan stated, never bothering to look up from the cash in his hands. Wendy ignored commentary on her friends.

"Never thought of making the suggestion. I was just commenting that you might need some help that is present around the shack more." This made Stan stop his count.

"Soos already works full time and then some." Wendy groaned.

"I was referring to me. I could work around here more."

"What? Pay you to spend more time doing nothing? Absolutely not." The cantankerous man replied.

"Well what about watching after the twins? You could probably use some help keeping them from getting into trouble." Wendy countered.

"They're twelve years old, I didn't need a minder at that age, and neither do they." Stan shot back. It was at this point that Dipper and Mabel walked in.

"Hey, what's up?" Dipper inquired. Stan looked at them, before pointing back at Wendy.

"Miss lazy-bones over here wants to be your babysitter." A look of terror came over the twins faces.

"Babysitter, we don't need a babysitter. I mean, we're twelve years old, why would we need a sitter?" Dipper pointed out. Stan rubbed his chin in thought.

"Normally I'd say you wouldn't need one, but she makes several good points about you two not being prepared for the dangers of the forest. What kind of responsible guardian would I be if I didn't think about your safety?"

Dipper shook his head, "Grunkle Stan, we're not idiots, we don't need someone to watch us."

"I never said you were idiots, I just think that a couple of city-raised children could easily get lost in the forest." Stan replied. Dipper's face was turning red with anger.

"Look, we're twelve years old, we don't need a minder, especially someone like her, and that's it." Dipper spat. Stan stared at his grand-niece and grand-nephew with suspicion.

"You're being awfully loud about having a babysitter. Are you hiding something? I think you're hiding something, only people with something to hide complain so much." Stan asked. Dipper's face turned a puce color; Wendy stared at the blood vessel in his temple that was bulging from his skin, idly wondering if it was going to pop. Mabel stood off to the side, pale and worried as she picked at some pilling on her sweater. There was something else going on here that Wendy didn't know about, but if it was upsetting the twins this much, then clearly it was important to them. Wendy stepped forward, intending on withdrawing her offer and ending the argument.

"Look, Mr. Pines, obviously Dipper and Mabel don't want a sitter, so how about we just set this aside and go back to work." Wendy offered. Stan shook his head.

"No, you made a good point. This is a strange town in the middle of nowhere, the kids need someone to watch over them until they get more familiar with the area. So I'm going to hire you at quarter pay." Stan replied.

"Quarter pay?" Wendy answered angrily. Stan waved his hands in a placating manner.

"You're right, I'm asking you to watch two kids; so I'll make it half pay. That's my final offer." Stan countered. Wendy stared at him in disbelief for several moments before nodding her head.

"Fine, I'll take it." Wendy answered. Dipper gave raspy growling noise as he glared at Wendy with such venom, that she was certain if he would have stricken her dead on the spot if he could. He turned and stomped out of the room before retreating to his bedroom. Mabel looked at Wendy with uncertainty before she turned to follow Dipper. Wendy's stomach churned as she contemplated telling her boss that she was no longer interested, but then she remembered the mangled bodies of her friends and family, steeling her resolve.

* * *

The next few days seemed to leave Wendy in a bit of a rut. She would show up early in the morning for a company breakfast, complete with Dipper treating her with suspicion while she ate with one hand, the other hand was busy slapping Mabel's away from her. Then she would man the cash register, and try to strike up conversation with her younger co-workers. Mabel seemed amicable enough outside of the breakfast table, and for the most part calmed down. Except when a cute boy walked into the Shack, then she reverted to what Wendy called, "Old Mabel", the boy crazy Mabel that Wendy remembered from before her trip through time. Dipper on the other hand, did his best to avoid Wendy and watched her wearily. It hurt that one of her best friends gazed upon her with such looks; she wasn't certain what she needed to do in order to overcome the barrier that for some reason had come between them. Though she was pretty certain Bill knew what was going on, he had that look about him when it seemed like no one was watching that screamed, "I know something you don't."

After hours work was spent minding the twins until their bedtime. Mabel would run around being, Mabel, for lack of a better word. She was always working on some sort of project, whether it was trying to find a boy to go on a date with, making "Mabel Juice", knitting a sweater, or simply acting rambunctious. But whatever Mabel was working on, she made sure to include Wendy. Dipper on the other hand would take the opportunity to get as far away from Wendy as possible, squirrelling himself away to some dark corner of the Shack or outside.

So she was stuck waiting for something to happen that she could use to get closer to Dipper. Today seemed a little bit different, as from behind her magazine that she was reading, she saw that Mabel and Dipper were off in corner arguing about something. She heard a couple of words, "not like her", but the rest of it was garble. But whatever it was, Mabel was really worked up about it, waving her arms while her face got progressively redder as the twins chatted.

Bringing the magazine down so that she could get a clear look at them, "Hey, something the matter over there?"

Dipper fiercely shook his head while Mabel waved her hands, "Who said we were arguing? We're not arguing, we were just talking about," Mabel paused her, clearly grasping for what to say next, before pointing at the museum exit, "how the love of my life could be the next person to come out that door."

There was moment of silence before Stanford strode through the doorway, pausing to belch.

"Ew, gross." Mabel groaned, Wendy couldn't keep herself from laughing along with Dipper at Mabel's 'love of her life.' But the moment that Dipper saw that they were laughing together, he slammed his lips shut, all humor gone from his face. Wendy felt her heart twist as her good mood dissipated.

"Alright, I need someone to go into the spooky part of the forest and put up some more signs for the Shack." Stanford ordered. There was a quick round of the not it game before Soos offered to take job, only to be rebuffed by Stan. Wendy readied herself to deny being able to reach for the signs, but Stan turned to the twins.

"Right. So, eenie, meenie, minie, you." Stan stated, pointing at Dipper.

"Aw, Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods I feel like I'm being watched."

"Ugh, look kid, the whole creepy crawly monsters in the forest thing is thought up by guys like me, to sell merchandise to guys like him." Stanford explained, pointing at a sweaty, overweight man giggling at one of the Mr. Mystery Bobble heads.

"Stan, I'm serious, there's something up about this town. Just this morning my mosquito bites spelled out 'Beware'" Dipper said, pulling up his sleeve to show the con man.

Stan narrowed his eyes at the mosquito bites, "That spells out 'Bewarb'. Dipper, I'm going to make you an offer. You can either walk out that door and put up those signs," Pausing as he reached into the museum area to pull out a broom, "or I'll push you out with this broom."

Dipper balked, "You can't just do that."

Stanford waved the broom in Dipper's direction, making as though he was about to sweep Dipper out the door, before Dipper sighed and headed towards the door. Wendy pulled out her cellphone.

"Hey, wait up dude. Take this with you just in case you run into trouble." She stated, passing Dipper her cellphone. He looked at the cellphone in confusion for a moment, carefully turning it in his hand, before turning and striding out the door. Wendy raised the magazine back up to give the appearance that she was busy reading, but it was actually a tactic her Stan had taught her shortly after he had gotten the Mystery Shack back from Gideon. Make the people in the shop think you are too busy to be watching them, when in reality you are observing them like a hawk.

She stayed like that for about twenty minutes, sitting with an air of non-attention, watching as one of the teenagers that came with his family casually stuff a Mr. Mystery Bobble Head into the crotch of his pants before walking off as though having a huge and misshapen bulge was completely natural. When the family walked up to pay for the other merchandise that they had grabbed, Wendy bumped up the price of the various items to cover the stolen bobble head, content to let him leave with the merchandise unmolested, but the matriarch of the party had a sharp eye and an even shriller voice.

"What's with those prices, those aren't the prices listed on these." The woman screeched, Wendy grimaced as her ears rang from the woman's voice.

"Is that the sound of an upset customer I hear?" Mr. Pines stated as he walked into the shop, "Surely one of my employees would not dare upset a paying customer?"

The woman shrieked, "This girl just tried to overcharge us and I find it sickening that you would allow such criminals to work here!"

Stan turned towards Wendy, "Is this true?"

Wendy simply shrugged, "The register's giving me a SMG error, so I'll have to ring it back up to the correct price manually."

Stan nodded, giving a slight grunt as his eyes swept over the family. Wendy felt nervous as she didn't remember if she had learned Stan's private codes for alerting him about customer behavior by this time last time. 'Still as weird as the first time I thought it.' She pondered.

Stan turned his gaze to the face of the teen before he spoke again.

"You know what's nice about being a part of a small business that was established before the 1980s? You get grandfathered into the extension on restrictions for the use of lead-based paints." Stanford noted. The teen snorted.

"So what?"

Stan leaned in close to the teen, "What do you think I paint my bobble heads with."

There was a pregnant pause as the teen realized what that meant before he started freaking out, frantically trying to get his pants off and pull the bobble head out of his boxers. The boy was not the only one to start to a freak out. The mother started to cry about her darling child being sterile for life, never to give her grandchildren while Stan scrambled back away stammering something about keeping the bobble head free of charge.

Wendy brought her magazine up to cover her eyes, "Whoa, do not need to see that." She almost wished that she had simply ignored the boy stealing the bobble head. Though now that she thought about it, she was pretty certain that's what she had done last time.

* * *

After everyone calmed down and clothes were back where they belonged, Stan glared at the family standing before him. He pointed at the mother, "Quit your crying; your thief of a son is perfectly fine."

"But what about the paint?" she sobbed, on the verge of wailing once again. For the sake of her ears, Wendy hoped that Stan would stop the woman.

Stan snorted, "That was a lie I told you to get your son to admit to trying to steal merchandise, in case you haven't noticed, I work with a man-child who can't stop licking things. Having lead-based paint would be a liability. Speaking of which, Soos!"

Soos stood up from behind the bobble head stand, saliva covered Mr. Mystery in his hands. "What's up, Mr. Pines?"

"Shouldn't you be replacing the lightbulbs?" Stanford waved about.

"Of course, Mr. Pines." With that, the handyman wandered off to look for lightbulbs to replace. When he turned back to the family, he learned that they had slipped out the door. He turned to yell at Wendy for letting them leave, only to shut up when she held up a wad of cash.

"They paid, with some extra on top as well." She noted warily, Stan never let a good yelling slip by him without just cause. She was pleasantly surprised when he simply grunted, eyeballing the money instead.

"Fifty dollars extra, not too shabby. Take half of the extra for yourself for a job well done. Keep up the good work." With that, Stan turned around and headed to other parts of the Mystery Shack. Wendy gaped after him in surprise, as convincing him to let her keep tips was like pulling teeth from a crocodile, if the crocodile was armed with smoke bombs and a thousand hiding spots to flee to.

'This Stan can treat me like crap all he wants if he's going to actually pay me in money this time.' Wendy thought to herself, remembering the struggle it had been to get the man of mystery to pay her at the end of every week. One time he had tried to pay her in actual peanuts, claiming that he only had peanuts to pay her with.

Dipper and Mabel came bursting through the door in that moment, darting off to the front room of the shack. She narrowed her eyes as she stared at the doorway, there was something different about them from earlier, which was strange because it was only thirty minutes ago that Dipper had left to put up the signs in the woods. Wendy shrugged her shoulders as she resumed her post. She'd find out what was different in a few hours when she got off from work.

The hours crawled by with little interruption; the only thing of interest was when Dipper ran outside with a camera, probably to record Mabel's day with Norman.

"Norman, that sounds familiar." Wendy pondered, she remembered that Dipper and Mabel had a story about him, but the details were just out of reach. Something about him being a zombie? Wendy closed her magazine with a crisp snap. She remembered now, this was the first day that Dipper had gotten the journal, and the first day that they had a paranormal encounter with one of the creatures of Gravity Falls. Wendy stood up, ready to go out and save the twins by taking out Norman, when she felt a hand clasp her shoulder.

"You seem to be in a real go-getting mood today." Stan noted, surprising her. Wendy whirled around to look at her boss.

"You could say that." She replied, not certain where this was going. He handed her the keys to the golf-cart and a fifty dollar bill.

"Will says that his _Mutant Cowburgers_ are selling like crazy, and he needs someone to pick up some extra for tomorrow. Fortunately the grocery store's about to put all of the old meat on sale for seventy-five percent off, so I need you to go pick up as much as that fifty will buy you, and bring it back here. I'd do it myself, but somebody's gotta milk these tourists for their money."

Wendy nodded, darting off. If she got it done quickly enough, she could be back in time to stop Mabel from going on her afternoon date with Norman.

* * *

**AN: As you can tell, I have made the executive decision to break up some of the chapters into smaller chapters. This is so that I can buy myself a little writing time as I find it difficult to find time to sit down and write out sections of this story due to the various responsibilities most of us have in life.**

**On another note, I have decided to hold a little contest for my readers, see if you guys can figure out the mysteries of my story before they are revealed. There will of course be time limits on when you can put in your answer. The mysteries are as follows: What big secret are Dipper and Mabel hiding? What is Wendy's past in Gravity Falls? Why did Cipher start this game of theirs? And Finally, the most difficult mystery to solve, How can Wendy win the game?**

**The prize for the closest correct answer is that I will write a one-shot of your choosing (except sex, not entirely comfortable writing that). **

**All entries must be made via PM, as I don't want you guys to lose the opportunity to win because someone else saw your entry, and put a spin on it that happened to make it a better answer.**

**The first mystery, Dipper and Mabel's Secret, time ends at chapter 20, so you have plenty of time to wrack your brains and come up with some crazy and not-so-crazy theories. Nearly every chapter has hints to the mysteries, and some require a little puzzle-solving and reading between the lines to figure it out.**


	6. Time Traveler Trapped? Part 2

**So, I have finally reached 10k words. I'm going to celebrate by eating a whole pizza by myself. You guys can celebrate by reading this chapter. **

**I have posted a poll in my profile for you guys to take regarding the various chapter arcs. As those of you who have been following along, you remember that I decided to break up the episode arcs into several chapters in order to give myself time to stay on my schedule of updating every Sunday. I would appreciate it if you would leave a response so that I can know whether or not you guys think it would be a good idea to condense the episodes together after the arcs have been completed.**

**I would like to give a thanks to Puppeteer of Chaos and Supergroveraway for reviewing last week. **

**In reply to Puppeteer, its an interesting theory; unfortunately, if you remember, Dipper had not yet found the journal, so if Cipher had told him that Wendy was a succubus or a shapeshifter, Dipper would be unlikely to believe him. So his fear of Wendy comes from a _fairly_ mundane reason.**

**I hope you guys enjoy the next few chapters.**

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Alex Hirsch and Disney**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Time Traveler Trapped? Part 2**

Wendy gunned the golf-cart as much as she could, but the abnormally busy traffic made the journey take a sedate ten minutes to the grocery store. She took the time to ponder over what had just happened. Last time, she had taken the golf-cart out to put up some signs around town for the Mystery Shack, only getting back shortly after 5. But Stan had asked her to do that around 1, but this time she was heading out around 4, and for Bill's food business.

'Did Bill see me getting ready to stop Mabel and Norman's date, and try to stop me?' Wendy wondered. If that was the case, then clearly Bill was not the mere observer he claimed to be, and Wendy would have to keep an eye on him to make sure he did not do something detrimental to her goals. Like killing the Pines family.

She hoped that her stay in the grocery store would be fairly quick, but considering the activity buzzing around it, she had a feeling that most of Gravity Falls had turned out for the meat sale as well. After navigating the mess that was the parking lot, Wendy felt like a bundle of nerves ready to explode at any moment. If she took too long shopping, then she wouldn't be able to get back in time to save the twins from Norman the zombie.

"Excuse me Miss Corduroy, could you give me a minute of your time?" a nasally voice called from beside her. Wendy turned to see it was none other than Toby Determined, the editor of the _Gravity Falls Gossiper_.

"What do you want Toby, I'm kinda in a hurry here."

"I just want to show you something Miss Corduroy, it'll only take a minute." Wendy sighed, if she didn't follow Toby, he'd probably bother her until she did. It was his standard procedure in getting stories.

"Fine, let's see whatever it is that you want me to see, and then I'm going to pick up some meat." Toby led her over to the alley behind the store, motioning that whatever he wanted her to see was behind it.

The alley was empty, and Wendy's creep-o-meter went off the charts. She had to get away from him without alerting the gossip reporter that she knew he was up to something.

"Well Toby, this is a nice looking alley, but I really need to go pick up some meat for Mr. Pines." She said while turning back to the diminutive man. Toby was standing there with his pants down, a brown wig in his hand and a gleam of lust in his eyes. Wendy shrieked, kicking him in the face before running off.

"Ew ew ew" - Wendy yelped as she ran inside of the store – "What is with this town. I don't remember any of this happening last time"

After taking a few moments to calm down, and take advantage of the free hand sanitizer offered by the store, Wendy was finally ready to get started on her shopping, except there were no carts. The baskets that were available looked like rust traps, but beggars' couldn't be choosy, not if she wanted to get back to the Shack before 5.

* * *

'Argh, what is with all of these people.' Wendy screamed to herself. The grocery store was packed with people, moving with all of the speed of peanut brittle. After waiting for several minutes, Wendy finally just started jostling her way towards the meat department. She murmured apologies as she elbowed passed a family that did not realize that just because you came in as a group does not entitle you to fill up an entire aisle; she held her breath as she silently worked her way around the pizza guy, who had clearly forgotten to take a shower before going outside; and she discretely punched a tourist in the stomach for getting handsy before she finally made her way to the meat section.

Wendy stared aghast at the icy-white display that was completely barren of meat. She was not going to go back without some meat to hand in; Stan would never let her hear the end of it.

_What's this? No meat? I honestly don't know why I'm even surprised, teens can't even do a simple blah blah blah…_

Wendy shook her head, 'Even imaginary me can't pay attention long enough to Mr. Pines lectures.'

She went to the display and began to dig through the ice chips in hopes of finding a package that was left behind by the initial horde, ignoring the stabbing pains from frostbite as she shoveled ice out of the way. When all hope seemed lost, Wendy saw the gleam of plastic from an upside down package of meat, its white underside hiding it amidst the ice. Just as Wendy grabbed it, a wrinkled hand grabbed the other side of the package. Wendy looked up to gaze into the eyes of one of Gravity Falls most irritable senior citizens, Ms. Peach.

"Hey there, Ms. Peach, I think you grabbed something of mine." Wendy stated with a smile as she gave the package a gentle pull. The elderly woman glared.

"I believe you are mistaken, you grabbed something of mine." Peach sneered, pulling back.

"You just showed up, I was digging through the ice for this, which makes it mine." Wendy retorted, standing her ground.

Ms. Peach snorted, "Finders Keepers dearie, now why don't you let go before this gets ugly."

"Have you looked in a mirror lately, it's been ugly since you showed up." Wendy snapped, giving the package a strong pull towards her. Her elderly foe gasped.

"Why I never, you apologize this instance you, you harlot!" Peach cried, as the tug of war for the meat began in earnest. Despite Wendy's best effort, including some moves that she had perfected in tug of wars with her brothers for the remote, the elderly woman refused to let go of the meat.

"Geez, don't you have an antique's fair to go to?" Wendy asked as she tried to get her body in between Peach and the package.

"And don't you have a corner to walk?" the elder scoffed.

"That doesn't even make any sense." Wendy retorted, managing to pry one of the woman's hands off of the package.

"Well how about this for making sense?" Ms. Peach cried as she brought her now free hand back and punched Wendy in the face. Wendy fell to the ground as she stared at the woman in shock. Ms. Peach pointed at Wendy.

"You all saw that, this girl tried to punch me." There were murmurs of agreement from the people around them. The elderly woman, vindicated by the group, turned around and shuffled towards the registers, leaving Wendy with a black eye and empty-handed.

* * *

"Who knew that an old woman could hit so hard." Wendy hissed as she drove back to the Shack, her eye tender and swollen from the punch the woman had delivered in the grocery store.

"Well at least I got some meat." - Wendy groaned, though it had cost her ten dollars for a two of the one dollar packages of meat. The pizza guy refused to separate from his meat purchase for anything less. - "Hopefully Stan won't throttle me for spending so much."

Wendy's watch went off as she pulled onto the backwoods path to the shack, the gravel clacking beneath the tires.

"Shit", she murmured, the alarm on the watch meant that it was after 5. She sped up, hoping that she would catch Mabel and Norman before they got too far.

Except it was not to be, as she saw that Dipper was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Dipper ran up to her as she eased up to the shack.

"Wendy, Wendy, Wendy!" Dipper yelled as he approached the golf-cart, "I need to – What happened to your eye?"

Wendy waved off his concern, "Just got into a fight over some meat from the grocery story. So what do you need?"

"I need to borrow the golf-cart so I can save my sister from a zombie." Dipper answered.

Wendy patted the seat next to her. "Get in."

Dipper stared at her for several long moments. "Don't you have to work in the Shack?"

Wendy scoffed, "It's after 5. My job now is to watch you guys. So get in and we can go save your sister."

Having no argument against it, he jumped into the passenger seat. Wendy reversed into the Shack parking lot, narrowly missing Soos.

"Hey, it's me, Soos." Soos stated, he pulled out a shovel, handing it to Dipper. – "Take this shovel for the zombies."- he then pulled out a baseball bat, handing it as well to Dipper. – "This is in case you run into a piñata."

Wendy gaped at him, why would there be a piñata in the woods? Regardless of the handyman's reasoning, she hit the gas, zipping off into the woods. As they drove along, Wendy turned to Dipper, "So what's the plan?"

Dipper looked at her with in surprise. "What?"

"Well, I'm assuming you have a plan for when we get there?"

Dipper looked at her sheepishly, "Er, not really. I thought we would just show up, reveal that Norman's a zombie…and that's as far as I got. Take a left up here."

Wendy took the turn faster than she probably should have, fortunately the golf-cart did not overturn. "That's okay; we'll wing it as we go."

Dipper was silent for several moments, "How come you're not asking me about how I know that Norman's a zombie?"

Wendy considered the question for several moments, trying to figure out a way to say what she wanted to mean without offending Dipper.

"Honestly, I don't really know you well enough to know whether or not you're just a guy who lets his imagination gets away from him," – Dipper looked ready to argue that, – "but, I know that you put Mabel before yourself. So regardless of what's going on, I'm going to trust that."

"Thank you," he replied, a grateful look on his face. He then pointed at a hill in the distance, "The place Mabel said Norman was taking her is just over that hill."

Wendy felt her stomach rise up in anticipation as they went down the steep incline of the hill to a small glade beyond.


	7. Time Traveler Trapped? Part 3

**Another week, another chapter. I've noticed that no one has answered the poll in regards to whether or not I should condense the chapters of each arc together after the arc is complete, so here's a reminder. See you guys next week.**

**Chapter 7: Time Traveler Trapped? Part 3**

Dipper and Wendy stared at the scene in front of them in surprise. Mabel was surrounded by a bunch of little men in red caps and overalls who were apparently trying to kidnap her as another little man on a stump directed them how to do it correctly.

"Are those Dwarves?" Wendy asked Dipper.

"Who dares to mistake the mighty Gnomes for those underground blowhards?" the Gnome on the stump declared looking around for transgressor, but somehow missing the pair behind him. Dipper pulled out the journal from his vest.

"Huh, Gnomes, I was way off." – he began flipping through the journal to the Gnome entry. – "Gnomes, little men of the Gravity Falls forest; weaknesses, unknown."

Wendy and Dipper looked up from the journal to see that Mabel had been tied to the ground during his reading of the journal entry. Dipper stepped forward, approaching the Gnome on the stump. "Hey, hey, let go of my sister."

The Gnome on the stump turned and looked up at Dipper, "Oh, hey there. Look, this is all just a big misunderstanding. Your sister's not in danger, she's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity."

"You guys are butt faces." Mabel cried from her position on the ground. Dipper took the shovel in his hand, threatening the Gnome.

"Give me back my sister now, or else." Before the Gnome could respond, a goofy looking gnome by Mabel spoke up.

"Shmebulock" he cried, pointing past Dipper to Wendy. The Gnome looked from the goofy gnome to Wendy. For a brief instant, Wendy could swear that the Gnome's eyes flashed through all the colors of the rainbow before settling on a black color that seemed to absorb all light. A grim look came over the Gnome's face.

"So, one of the Soulless finally appears, why are you here Soulless one; the gnomes have no quarrel with your kind." The Gnome inquired. Dipper and Mabel stared at the Gnome, both flabbergasted by the gnome's declaration.

"Hey, that's not very nice, just because someone has red hair doesn't make them soulless. Though we've seen a few that could make a case for it" Dipper retorted, murmuring the last part to himself.

The Gnome frowned, "Stay out of this boy, do not involve yourself in matters far beyond your comprehension."

"Look, I don't know what's going on, but I think you have the wrong girl. I'm pretty certain I still have my own soul." Wendy commented.

"Denying your nature?" – the Gnome paused, considering Wendy's statement. He sighed. – "I see, I did not want it to come to this. Gnomes of the forest, attack!"

Wendy leapt to the side, narrowly avoiding a gnome that fell from the branches above her, kicking the short creature to the other side of the clearing. She yelped as she saw a horde of gnomes began to crawl out of the woods, preparing themselves to attack her. She grabbed the bat out of the golf-cart, thankful that one of Soos's harebrained ideas actually paid off, swinging it at the gnomes as they began to attack in earnest.

Wendy vaguely noticed that Dipper had rushed past the statuesque Gnome to where Mabel lay on the ground, freeing the young girl from her bonds. Wendy was busy fighting off gnomes who were making serious attempts to kill her. She barely pulled one gnome off of her neck before its teeth sank too deep into her flesh. The fight for her life completely consumed her attention as she tried to keep the gnomes at bay, so it was a complete surprise when Dipper backed the golf-cart into her, causing Wendy to tumble into the storage area behind the seats before he took off at top speed away from the gnomes. Wendy shivered as she observed the Gnome's unblinking stare as he watched them flee.

After they cleared the crest of the hill, Dipper stopped the cart.

"Dipper, we have to keep going, we can't let them catch up to us." Mabel protested their stop. Dipper laughed in response.

"I don't think so Mabel, did you see their little legs? They won't be catching up any time soon." – He retorted, wiggling his fingers in mimicry of the gnome's short legs. He turned to Wendy, who was busy tearing strips off of her flannel shirt to bind the wounds that the gnomes had inflicted. – "You okay Wendy?"

Wendy nodded as she pressed a swatch of cloth against her neck wound, trying to stem the blood flow. "I'll be fine when we get back to the Shack."

Wendy absently swatted Mabel's hand away when she began to stroke Wendy's arm, cooing at the softness. Any further conversation stopped as the golf-cart shook with the sound of something heavy thumping against the ground. When a giant gnome-esque creature came over the crest with a great roar, the three of them started to panic.

"Go, Go, Go!" Wendy and Mabel ordered as Dipper tried to change gears. The cart jumped forward, barely escaping the gnome giant's fist as it came down. The golf-cart struggled to keep ahead of the Gnome Giant as they raced through the forest, barely avoiding the giant's attempts to squash them. As Wendy used the bat she held to keep the gnomes that were thrown at the cart from gaining purchase she briefly considered leaping off the cart, as it would probably allow the cart to escape the Gnome Giant, since the gnomes appeared to be after her, but there was no guarantee that it would not continue after the twins. No, their only hope was to get to the Shack, and hopefully Stan would have something there to help.

Then the Gnome Giant threw a tree at them.

* * *

Wendy blearily crawled out of the crash that had resulted from avoiding the tree that had been thrown at them. Dipper and Mabel had already crawled out of wreckage, and were standing defiantly before the Gnome Giant.

Wendy stumbled upright as Dipper tossed his shovel javelin style at the creature, only for his weapon to be swatted aside by the Gnome Giant.

"Your defense of the Soulless one is admirable, boy, but futile. Stand aside, allow us to fulfill our task, and you shall be spared." The gnome giant growled. Now that it was standing still, Wendy was able to see that it wasn't a giant that looked like a gnome, but rather a giant made up of hundreds of gnomes. Dipper refused to stand aside.

"Why do you keep calling her that? What has she done to you?" Dipper yelled at the gnomes. The gnomes sneered.

"She is _the _Soulless one, the Whore of Gravity Falls, marked by The Enigma, destined to help bring about the destruction of the world. She will destroy your very soul when she fulfills her task. Stand aside boy, so that we might prevent this future calamity." A thousand voices growled. Dipper shook his head.

"That sounds like a bunch of bologna." Dipper countered.

"If you won't stand aside, then you must die." The gnome giant sneered as it raised a giant fist to squash Dipper and Mabel. It brought down its fist, and the twins dived out of the way. Dipper, in his attempt to avoid the gnome's attack, dropped his journal.

"Oh, no. The journal!" Dipper cried as he darted forward, scooping his journal back up. Dipper did not see the Gnome Giant's fist coming at him from behind. But Wendy did.

* * *

Wendy was weightless, flying through the air. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a small voice questioned why she had pushed Dipper aside, but she knew why. Even if this particular Dipper never became the best friend that hers was, she'd put Dipper and Mabel first, every time.

Then she started hitting branches, causing her to tumble out of control before finally slamming into a tree.


	8. Chapter 8 Time Traveler Trapped Epilogue

**So I've decided that I will not condense the chapters into their appropriate arcs, mostly because it was a tie in the poll. Maybe when I am on the last few chapters of this story I will do some condensing, but for now I'll leave it. I'd like to thank the various people who have read this story, especially Puppeteer of Chaos. He has shown an interest in trying to figure out the mysteries of this story since he realized that something was going on. Thank you.**

**In response to your review Puppeteer, you'll find that when it comes to Revelations, the metaphorical reigns supreme over the literal. Keep looking at the clues, take a walk down memory lane, and I'm certain that you'll get one step closer to solving the mysteries in this story.**

**On another note, I will not be making any updates for the next several weeks. It is not the fault of any of the readers, but I need to take this time to work on some projects that I have been assigned in my classes. I will be back in May, just in time to make Star Wars jokes.**

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Alex Hirsch and Disney.**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Time Traveler Trapped Epilogue**

The darkness was chilly, there was tightness along several points on her body, and there was a gentle, rhythmic tugging along her ribs.

"You said that a bear caused this?" an unknown voice spoke. There was a mild whine in the background before the sound of someone making soothing noises silenced it.

"I don't recall paying you under the table to so that you could ask questions." A gruff voice responded.

"Just trying to decide whether or not I need to prescribe 250 mg of antibiotics three times a day for a week or 875 mg twice a day for ten."

"Let's assume that she got attacked by a bear."

"875 mg it is." – The tugging stopped, followed by a snip. – "She'll live, but some of these wounds will scar permanently, particularly the ones along her ribs, neck, face, back and on her forearm. The rest will leave minimal scarring, and probably fade with time. She's lucky that she didn't break anything; otherwise I'd have to insist on her going to Canyon City General. Gravity Falls clinic is not properly equipped for injuries worse than this."

There was a grunt of acknowledgement, "How long until she wakes up?"

"Well, since she doesn't have any of the external signs of a concussion, she could wake up at any moment, but I'd recommend letting her wake up on her own."

"Thank you for your help."

Wendy sank back into the darkness.

* * *

When she woke up, it was dark outside, and the flickering of the TV was the only light in the front room. Wendy groaned as she tried to sit up. Her whole body erupted in pain, causing her to hiss, falling back into the chair.

"Wendy?" Wendy looked over to the side to see Dipper sitting at the table, his hair a mess and bags under his eyes. He slowly blinked as he woke up.

"Wendy, you're awake!" – Dipper jumped out of his seat, and darted over to her, stopping short of her seat. He leaned over and shook Mabel, who was leaning against Wendy's chair, awake. – "Mabel, Wendy's awake."

"No, Bear-O, don't eat Kelly's shirt." Mabel murmured before turning and resuming her sleep. Dipper shook her again. Mabel snorted.

"What it is?"

"Wendy's awake?" Mabel shot up at this, standing next to Dipper as Wendy observed them. Normally by this time Mabel and Dipper would have been crawling all over whoever had been injured out of their small group, but instead they were just standing beside her.

"Are you okay?" Mabel asked.

"I'm fine, are you guys okay?" – Wendy replied. Mabel and Dipper nodded their head, their eyes misty. Wendy beckoned them. – "Then what's up guys?"

After several moments of silence, Mabel answered her, "We thought you were dead."

"Well it's a good thing lumberjacks are hard to kill, huh?" Wendy teased them. She winced as she shifted in her seat, the pain in her body protesting her awakened state.

"Now why don't you guys stop standing so far away and come give me a hug?" Wendy asked as she beckoned to them. Dipper turned an unhealthy shade of red while Mabel simply stood there.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Dipper answered, "You're not exactly wearing any clothes."

Wendy scanned herself warily, worried that she had been sitting there naked, but she looked more mummy than person with her midriff being one of the only uncovered parts of her and it was nasty shade of purple with some mild scratches, not to mention she was still in her boxer briefs from earlier. "Well, all of the important bits are covered, and I'm certain you'll feel better if you give me a hug."

Mabel did not need any further encouragement; she eagerly climbed up into the chair to cuddle up to Wendy. It caused some twinges of pain to go through Wendy as the younger girl moved around, but she kept it to herself. Dipper remained where he was, still uncertain.

"Hey, what's matter?" Dipper gave a small sniff.

"You wouldn't have gotten hurt if I hadn't been so stupid about the journal."

"People do lots of stupid things for stuff they care about. You certainly won't be the last."

"But it wasn't people, it was me, and you nearly got killed because of it."

"But I didn't get killed Dipper, and that's the most important part." Wendy stated firmly. "Now, if you don't come over here and give me a hug, I'm going to go over there and give you one."

He reached over to give her a gentle hug, but Wendy was not going to have that, so she wrapped an arm around his waist and lifted him into the chair despite his protests.

"That's better, isn't it?" – Wendy asked. Dipper tucked his face against her shoulder before nodding. The three of them sat there in silence for several moments before Wendy spoke back up. –"So, once I heal up enough, what mystery are we gonna solve next."

"What? But you almost died on the last one." Dipper protested. "I was thinking that we can just set the journal aside and have a nice boring summer."

Wendy shrugged, "Maybe I almost died, and there are certainly merits to having a nice boring summer. But do you really think you could set the journal aside for the entire summer?"

Dipper sat there silently as he contemplated her question. Mabel answered the question for him, "I think Dipper could resist it for a little while, but he really likes mysteries like I like stickers."

Dipper opted not to respond, instead burrowing his face deeper into Wendy's shoulder. Wendy for her part started rubbing Dipper's back. "Look, I'll leave the decision up to you, but whatever you decide to do; I want you to involve me. I couldn't stand it if you got hurt when I could have helped to prevent it."

"Ok, Wendy." After several minutes of silence, just when Wendy was starting to drift off, Dipper spoke back up. "Wendy?"

"Yeah Dipper?"

"I wanted to apologize, for the way I've been treating you. I mean, you've tried to be nothing but nice to me, and I've been a jerk."

"That's okay Dipper. We're all entitled to a few jerk moments in our life." – Wendy answered, before turning to Mabel. – "You okay over there Mabel?"

Mabel sniffed, "I just wished my fantasies didn't have to end."

"What fantasy?"

"The fantasy that you actually had bigger boobs than these tiny ones." Mabel groaned.

"Hey, I worked hard and waited a long time to get these A-cups." Wendy responded in mock outrage.

Dipper snorted, "Considering the amount of work you do around the Shack, I'm surprised you got that much."

"I'll show you how hard I work." Wendy growled, as she started to tickle the twins that were in the chair with her. The twins gave as good as they got, despite being careful to avoid aggravating her stitches.

In the hallway, unseen by the trio, Stan smiled as he watched them before he went off to bed.

* * *

Wendy stirred as she felt her bladder wake her up. It was still night, so the twins were asleep. Carefully adjusting Dipper and Mabel as she stood, they groaned, but stayed asleep. Wendy hobbled off to the employee bathroom, trying to ignore the pain from her body as she finished her business. When she got ready to head back to the front room, she saw a light was on in the kitchen. Tiptoeing over to the doorway, she peeked in to see who was in the kitchen.

It was empty except for a steaming bowl on the table. The smell of the bowl was tantalizing, and her stomach growled in response.

"I made that for you." A voice chortled from beside her. Wendy was thankful that she kept herself from making any noise. She didn't want to give the being before her any further reason to try and startle her in the future.

"Hello Bill, don't you have some poor innocent animal to terrify?" She replied flatly. Bill cocked his head in a quizzical manner, before smiling at her.

"Oh, but I have one already." He snickered before walking past Wendy, stretching out a finger to skim her abdomen, a ghost of a touch that sent chills up her spine. Standing in that kitchen, covered in little more than gauze and her boxer briefs, she suddenly felt vulnerable in a way that she never had before.

"I'll admit, being in a human body for so long presents so many…possibilities and ideas." – Bill opened up the silverware drawer, pulling out a spoon and a knife; he examined each of them before tossing the spoon onto the table. – "I mean, this body has so many desires and urges, that it's difficult to keep track of them all. I'm thinking I should write a list and mark them off as I do them."

"What do you want?" Wendy snapped, not liking where the conversation was going.

"I want you to try this new soup that I'm going to be serving tomorrow. I call it _Six-Pack O'Lope Stew_."

"Why should I eat something questionable that you made?"

"Because if you don't you'll be dead by noon." Bill replied as he began playing five finger fillet with gusto.

Wendy stared at him for several moments, "Is that a threat?"

Bill's rhythm was thrown off, causing him to cut into the space between his thumb and forefinger rather deeply. Bill's eyes rolled back in rather orgasmic fashion as he hissed. He paused for several moments before calming down, his golden eyes focusing on Wendy's as a blue flame healed the wound.

"Aren't you curious why you survived?" - Wendy stopped, not certain where the demon was going. – "I mean, you were hit rather hard, and flew several hundred feet through the air before slamming into a tree. Anybody else would have died. Anyone except someone who was protected with magic."

"You're saying you had something to do with this? I have trouble believing that, how does protecting me do anything for you? I'd think that if I died, you'd win the wager. And for someone with your power, you could fix my body automatically." Wendy retorted.

"But that would be boring, a game that ends at the first real task. So I put just enough protection on you to keep you from dying immediately, but not enough to keep you from dying from internal bleeding. That's what the soup is for; it has some added ingredients that will keep you alive, fix you up a little. Also, as thanks for your…earnest participation in this game of ours, I'll grant you a boon."

"A boon?" Wendy asked as she cautiously sat down at the table.

"Yes, a boon. I'll answer a question, any question you might have." The eccentric demon stated, staring at her as he idly twirled the bloody knife in his hand. Wendy's suspicions were immediately raised, how could giving her answers help him? She suspected that it was some sort of trick, so she'd play along for now, just until she could figure out his angle.

"Any question, that's quite a…boon." Wendy spoke carefully, trying to avoid saying something that might be construed as a question as she picked up the spoon.

"Of course it is, because I'm a generous guy. I mean, the only way I could possibly be more generous is if recast the protection that you used up earlier on you." There was a gleam in those eyes of his as he spoke, inviting Wendy to walk into the obvious word trap that he laid. Wendy wasn't going to fall for it.

"Well, it's a good thing that I'm not going to need it after today." Wendy murmured, slowly stirring the soup. It did smell good, she just felt like she'd be indebting herself to the demon if she allowed it to help her heal. The question now was whether or not he was telling the truth when he said that she would be dead by noon. Silence ruled the kitchen as the two forces stared each other down. Wendy was carefully considering what question she might ask. She didn't know what Bill was thinking, probably considering ways to make her miserable. As she scooped up a little bit of soup into her spoon, an idea came to her. In any other game, it might be cheating, but when it came to dealing with Bill, she'd make the exception.

"Tell me, in a step by step fashion, how I win this game of ours." Wendy asked. Bill stared at her, his golden eyes glittering. He smiled at her, taking a moment to set down the knife he held, and Wendy felt nervous. Having a demon smile at you could not mean anything good.

"Well done Red, I didn't think you had it in you to be so devious. I mean really, that lazy teen act of yours could really be underestimated. I commend you, so I'll answer your question." – He chortled, bringing his hands together in a single clap. – "You can't win as you are, don't bother trying. Just give up now and let me have control of your body."

Wendy glared at the demon. "I don't think so, and you didn't answer my question."

"No, I did answer the question, it just wasn't an answer you wanted," - Bill answered. He then stood up, walking past her and out the back door. – "Don't forget to eat up."

Wendy frowned as she considered what just happened. Bill had promised to answer any question she had, but he had not promised to tell the truth. It rankled, that she had wasted an opportunity to get all sorts of questions answered, but the one question she picked got a non-satisfactory answer. She would have to figure out new plans to stop Bill, but for now, she'd rest. She ate a spoonful of the dish Bill had prepared, and didn't want to admit, but the soup was quite good.


	9. Beware the Gobblewonker: Prologue

**So, I'm finally back to bring you another chapter of Proverbial Devil. Few things to get out of the way before we get to the story proper. I'd like to give thanks to the people who have favorited and followed this story since the posting of the previous chapter.**

**Trachie17, EPA Nano, ChrisLikesFanFics, My Name Does Not Matter, Homework-The-Candy, and The Laughing Magician. Thank you all for following.**

**I've edited some of the previous chapters to make some things more clear, and to add substance to others, particularly for those aimed at solving the mysteries. I will also be moving my updates to every other week for the next couple of months.**

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Alex Hirsch and Disney.**

**Chapter 9: Beware the Gobblewonker: Prologue**

It was the sounds of people walking around and the smell of sizzling bacon that woke Wendy up from her place in the front room. She yawned and stretched her arms above her as she woke herself up, grunting in satisfaction as she felt several bones and joints pop. As she continued stretching, she stopped as she realized something. Most of her pain was gone. The areas where she got stitches were slightly itchy, but she felt better than earlier. She looked herself over, her abdomen was still purple, but there was some yellowing around the edges. She started unwrapping the gauze around her forearm, uncertain what it would look like, but hoping that the damage was manageable.

Wendy grimaced as she got her first look at the wound on her forearm. The wound was from her palm to elbow with ragged edges on it, but the fortunately the tissue was not enflamed and seemed to be mostly healed. She recalled that half-dream she had the day before, and how the voice she overheard mentioned that several of her scars would heal poorly. If what the doctor, she assumed it was a human doctor, but for all she knew Stan had brought in a veterinarian, was true, then her forearm would look rather ugly once healed. At the moment it looked like a thick red rope was lying embedded in her skin.

Over the next several minutes, she removed the gauze covering her up, leaving the bit around her chest in lieu of a bra until she could retrieve one of her bras to wear. The prospects were not good, but they were better than she feared. Most of her wounds were scratches that would have healed without help, while the rest were deeper marks that required little more than butterfly bandages to bring the edges together. These small wounds were completely healed, leaving pink streaks that stood out starkly against Wendy's pale skin. This wouldn't be a problem, except that her legs and arms were littered with them.

'I guess I won't be entering any swimsuit competitions.' Wendy thought to herself. She would need a mirror to observe the stitching on the parts of her in those hard to see places, but she had a feeling that they would be little better than her forearm.

She heard Stan laugh from the kitchen before going into a coughing fit from overdoing it. She meandered to the kitchen, her bare feet padding against the floor as she observed Stan and Soos doing their best to cheer up the twins. She waited in the doorway to watch them for a moment.

"So, what washes up on tiny beaches?" Soos questioned.

"I don't know Soos, what does wash up on tiny beaches?" Stan asked, sitting at the table in his standard boxer and wife-beater combo. Wendy resolved to buy him a housecoat, if only for her own presence of mind. Soos stared at his boss with a blank look.

"I don't know, that's why I was asking you Mr. Pines, it was like, on one of those riddle popsicles, but I accidently ate the answer." Soos replied. Stan smacked his face with his hand.

"The answer is Microwaves, Soos, microwaves." The man answered. Soos nodded, as though it all made sense. Will spoke up from his position at the stove.

"Hey, why was the leper hockey game cancelled?"

"I don't know Will, why was the leper hockey game cancelled?" Stan asked warily.

"Because there was a face off in the corner." Will chortled. There was a groan from around the table, with the exception of Soos, who simply looked around in confusion.

"I don't get it."

Dipper gave them a wane smile, "Thanks guys for trying to cheer us up, but I think until Wendy's up and about like normal, I don't think it's going to be much use."

Wendy took this as her cue, "Well, it's a good thing lumberjack daughters are so tough."

Everyone in the kitchen swiveled to look at her. Stan was the first to speak.

"Oh thank goodness, I thought your dad was going to kill me, er, it's a miracle." After he spoke, the rest of the kitchen exploded with questions as the various members tried to talk to her at once. Will simply turned around and continued cooking breakfast. Wendy held her good hand up, causing silence to fall over the kitchen.

"Dudes, one at a time. I can't answer questions if I can't understand them." Soos raised his hand. "Soos, you know you don't have to raise your hand."

Soos nodded, "So, are you some sort of alien human hybrid. Because if you are…welcome to Earth?"

"Soos, I'm pretty certain that you knew me from when I was a baby, and you knew my mom, and your abuelita knew both my parents when _they_ were babies. So, no, I'm not an alien/human hybrid." Wendy replied, nonplussed.

"But how come you're up and about?" Dipper followed up, "I mean, you were in pretty awful shape."

Wendy shrugged, "I don't know; maybe it was because of the tender care of my two nurses last night."

Dipper and Mabel blushed as Wendy sat down in her seat at the table. She reached over and ruffled their hair, noting that Dipper was wearing the brown baseball cap he arrived with rather than his more familiar blue and white pine tree cap. Mabel then turned to her, leering, "So Wendy, you're really rocking that warrior princess look, how would you like to let me _update _your clothes?"

"Yeah, cutting this conversation short before it gets weird to a manner that requires my involvement." Stan interrupted, "That brings me to my next point, Wendy, I can't have you doing your normal work around the Shack, it's too much of a liability, so I have a new job for you to do while you get back on your feet."

"I'm hoping it involves clothes, because I'm pretty certain that I'm on the verge of breaking some indecency laws." Wendy inquired. Her boss shuffled nervously, and Wendy knew what he was about to suggest.

"No, no car washes Mr. Pines." Wendy stated firmly. She remembered that Stan had tried to do a bikini car wash before, and it went horribly wrong when Soos got involved. On the plus side, the Shack made an obscene amount of money as the tourists paid Mr. Pines to send Soos away.

"What, that's not…what I was going to suggest." Stanford replied nervously, "I was going to suggest that we make you part of a new temporary exhibit."

Wendy was a little leery, but she was up for something new, "Sure, I'm listening." 

* * *

"They say that if you're lucky, you can save someone who has frozen to death, but only for a short period after they froze. I deny this idea; I say that they can revived long after that. I present to you the girl revived from her ten thousand year slumber in ice; from Gravity Falls own Aldritch Mountain, Cave Girl!" Stan announced, sweeping his hand to present to the tour group the newest exhibit at the Mystery Shack. Wendy squeezed the prop spear Stan had given her, imagining that it was her boss's neck as the members of the tour group oohed and awed over a marvel that denied known science.

She contemplated flashing the group as there were a several kids in it. One thing guaranteed to get parents riled up enough to yell at Stan was undesired nudity. Wendy remembered this from the last time her friends had visited the Shack, Nate had pantsed Lee, revealing that the teen preferred to go commando. Wendy smiled as she remembered that one ugly woman in a pink cardigan appeared to have a stroke she was so angry. But Stan had stationed Dipper to sweep during the tours, she suspected as a means of preventing her from acting out.

She waited patiently as Stan showed the group the rest of the exhibits before leading them to the store. Once the last of the group had passed through the door, Dipper set the broom against the wall and began to clean and touch up the exhibits for the next group.

"Dipper, the next time your Grunkle suggests a new temporary exhibit involving me, hit me in the face before I say yes." Wendy grumbled as she dusted part of the museum in-between tours. Dipper looked at her in askance.

"I thought you alright with this?" Dipper replied, busy trying to touch up the colors of the RoostDeer. Wendy snorted.

"I was fine with it until Tambry texted to let me know that my friends were coming over to see me, thanks for returning my cellphone in one piece by the way." – Dipper mumbled something in reply, but he was focused on flicking paint onto the rooster plumage. – "But the last thing I need is for some of my close guy friends to use me as fapping material for the next ten years."

Wendy heard a choking sound from Dipper, she looked over, worried that Dipper had accidently swallowed a feather, only to see a look on him that she recognized from before. It was a look of shock, arousal, shame, and determination to avoid letting people know what Dipper was thinking. The last time she saw that look on Dipper's face was after he had accidently laid his head on her bra.

"_Why would you leave your bra on the bed?" Dipper asked after calming down. Wendy smirked at him._

"_Because I took it off, bras can be uncomfortable. And if you can't hang freely around your best friend, who can you hang free around?" - Dipper's eye flicked down to her chest, and he gave a choking sound as his eyes bulged a little. – "Hey, you're not gonna freak out on me are you?"_

_Dippers eyes shot up to hers, "What, no, of course not." He chuckled nervously._

"_Good, cause I'd hate for things to get weird between us."_

Wendy frowned, "Sorry, I forgot that you might not be used to hearing those sorts of things."

'I keep forgetting he's not my Dipper.' She thought morosely. With her Dipper, she could talk about all sorts of things, even if they weren't exactly appropriate for his age. He just came off as being more mature than he was, so it was easy to forget that he was two and half years younger.

"It's okay, just caught me off-guard." He answered, trying to focus on his task, but Wendy could tell that he was struggling with Wendy so close by. She couldn't blame him; it was clear that Stanford had simply gone out and bought a cavewoman costume from the party shop. Normally Wendy would have been okay with dressing up in costume, except she wished that it hadn't come from the adults section. The outfit was little more than a glorified bikini and it made her uncomfortable. She opened her mouth to say something, but then her friends came barging into the museum. She turned to them, greeting them.

"Sup dudes." She waved nervously. She was going to seriously hurt who ever told her friends about her new job as an exhibit.

"Hey Wendy," – Tambry replied, never looking up from her phone. She paused to take a picture. – "Nice cave girl costume, whoever did your scar prosthetics did a good job on them."

"Yeah, really great costume Wendy. If I was a caveman, I'd definitely be looking in your direction." Robbie stated, scanning her in a creepy manner.

"Actually you wouldn't," – Dipper spoke up as he packed up his painting supplies. – "People from the Paleolithic era preferred to wear furs as cloaks or capes in order to preserve the integrity of the fur for as long as possible. As the fur degraded, the older members of a family would pass it down to smaller members and get new furs for themselves. For a cavewoman to be wearing her furs like that, it would mean that it had been some time since she had a good hunt, indicating that she lacked contributable skills and would likely drag you down rather than help to keep you alive. So in reality, you would run from her as quickly as possible."

There was silence as the teens contemplated what the twelve-year old said.

"Who's this guy?" Nate asked.

Wendy smiled, "Dipper, these are my friends Nate, Lee, Thompson, Tambry and Robbie." She stated, pointing out each of the teens in turn.

"And guys, this is Dipper, quite possibly the coolest thirteen year old I've ever met" She stated, ignoring Dipper's look of shock and simply stretched out her hand for a fist bump.

Dipper smiled and returned the bump timidly. Both missed the glare Robbie gave the boy. Wendy turned to her friends, "So what brings you guys to this neck of the woods?"

"We heard that you were part of a new exhibit, so we came to see what you were doing, though we didn't expect you to go so far as to put on fake scars for the tourists." Nate answered. Wendy gave them a grim smile.

"They're not fake; I got these yesterday fighting a bear that tried to ransack the shack." The teens stared at her flabbergasted, even Tambry looked at her for several long moments before returning to her phone.

"But why would you get into a fight with a bear? I mean, some of those scars look rather permanent." Lee inquired, confused. Wendy thought about it for several moments before answering.

"If the bear got inside, it might've hurt someone, and friends don't just stand around when other friends are in serious trouble."

"Update: Wendy's giving out sappy quotes." Tambry noted dryly, typing away on her phone.

"The only thing that's gonna be sappy around here is you guys after I throw you into the Pool of Tree Blood if you don't get yer free-loadin keisters out of here!" Stan growled from behind them. Wendy's friends skulked out, grumbling about cranky old men as they went. Robbie was the last to leave, and she saw him throw a calculating look her way before following the rest. The look reminded her of their younger days, when Robbie was a bully and always planning revenge on whoever had currently offended him. She had been the one to bear the brunt of his anger until he shot up in height closer to her own. The reminder gave her goosebumps, or maybe it was the lack of coverage that the costume offered. She turned to her boss, and thought she saw softness in his eyes that vanished once she focused on his face.

"Everything alright boss?" She asked. Stanford observed her for several moments before nodding.

"Just one more tour after the next, then you can get out of that ridiculous costume. Your father brought a set of clothes over for you, I expect you to change into them, because I like living; and then we're going to hold a company meeting." He then turned and exited to the front of the shack, where one of the last remaining tours of the day awaited. Wendy turned to her younger co-worker.

"Company meeting?" She asked. Dipper shrugged his shoulders, knowing no more about the company meeting than she did. 

* * *

As Wendy was waiting for Stan to start the "company meeting", she was busy reveling in the fact that she was wearing her own clothes again. The feel of flannel brought a comfort to her that she had not realized she was missing over the past day and a half.

"So, now that we are all here, it's time to get down to business." Stan started from his position by the cash register. He quickly noticed that with the exception of Soos, everyone else under his employ was not paying attention to him. "Oi, shut up!"

Everyone snapped to attention. Stan was smirking, "Now that I have your attention, does anyone know what tomorrow is?"

"Happy Anniversary?" Dipper offered up.

"Mozel tov!" Mabel cried, throwing her hands up in celebration.

"International Syrup Racing day?" Soos inquired.

"Is it Give Your Employees the Day Off day?" Wendy stated, throwing in her two cents. Stan glared at her for that one.

"It's none of those, and I'm very disappointed in you all." Stan growled, "Its Family Fun Day. So tomorrow, rather than opening up the Shack, we will all be going out for some quality bonding."

Wendy did not know what her boss had planned, but last time group activities usually resulted in people ending up in jail, so she did not want in on whatever he considered to be "bonding". "Oh, gee, I don't think I can go; I have something that I really need to do…"

"Your father said you're going." Stan interrupted. "And I'm picking you up tomorrow morning, so set your alarm for early, like pre-sunrise early."

Wendy felt a feeling of dread settle over her. 

* * *

It was early, 7'o clock early, and Wendy was irritated about it. Not necessarily because it was early, she had been getting up at sunrise for work over the past week, and she was nearly used to it now. But she had not been home since she got injured two days earlier, and the night before she had gotten home after her family had gone to bed. So none of them had yet to see the extent of her injuries, and she wasn't certain how they would react.

'Except for the scar on my face, they'll probably talk about how cool that is.' Wendy considered, tracing a finger along the scar. It ran the length of her cheekbone, terminating just short of her hairline. It gave her a rough look that called out to everyone who saw it that she was tough and not to be messed with. Thanks to a second dose of Bill's soup, the wounds that had stitching healed up for the most part, so she had cut out the stitches with the exception of the ones she couldn't reach on her back after she woke up in an attempt to buy time from seeing her family before she left with Stan.

She was hoping that her family would leave for their job before her boss came to pick her up, but for some reason they were lingering around the house. If she waited any longer, they would start trying to fix breakfast themselves, and that was always messy. Wendy shuddered as she remembered that her father had once slaughtered an actual pig in the kitchen when the boys had been unable to find the bacon in the bottom of the fridge.

She wandered into the kitchen, afraid that it would already be a mess that she would have to clean up. But she was pleasantly surprised to see that her family was calmly sitting around the table, nibbling on toast.

"Hey guys, what are you still doing here?" she asked. Her brothers grunted noncommittally as they focused on their breakfast. Her father was busy polishing what she recognized to be his fishing club. She picked up a piece of toast for herself using her left hand, trying to keep her scarred right hidden.

"Family Fun Day," Manly Dan grunted, "Going fishing at Gravity Falls Lake. Season opens today, and Ranger McGucket's holding his annual fishing competition. Biggest fish gets its weight in money, and this year, we're gonna get it."

"Don't you say that every year?" Wendy teased. Every year since she was five, her father claimed that it was the year of the Corduroy's victory over the Pisces family, and every year, the Pisces clan won the fishing competition. Manly Dan claimed it was because Pisces had twelve family members competing, giving them an unfair number of opportunities to catch big fish, but Wendy was pretty sure it was because her father preferred to fish bare-handed.

"That is true," her father growled, a victorious smile coming over his face. "But this year the seniors have a doctor's appointment and Agnas accidently scheduled her family on a cruise this week. So this year there's only five Pisces competing. Corduroy's for the Win!"

This set off the males in the family to start chanting and pounding the table in a display of overly developed testosterone. Wendy joined in as a show of support, because even if she was not going to be fishing, then she could at least cheer for them. They kept up the chanting as they got up and went outside to head to the lake. Wendy waved to them from the doorway of the house as she watched them drive off. She was glad that her father was always looking for ways to keep the family bond strong, but she detested fishing for sport, so this time she was glad that she had a legitimate excuse to avoid going fishing this time.

Wendy sighed in relief as the truck disappeared from sight; she had managed to get through breakfast without anyone noticing her arm. Though it was probably because she had forgone rolling up her sleeves in order to hide the majority of the scar, rather than any lack of attention on her family's part. She started cleaning up the breakfast table, tossing the food into trash and piling dishes into the sink to wash off. She picked up the newspaper on the table, absently scanning the headlines.

**Owl Trowel Sales at Record High After Surrey Man Purchases 1000 For Reoccurring Owl Problem.**

**Oregon Expansion of California's Maglev Rail Line to Continue Despite Trial of the Century.**

**Studies Show That People Who Read Headlines Unlikely to Get Full Story.**

Wendy tossed the newspaper into the bin, intent on finishing up the kitchen when was a knock at the door, followed by the door opening.

"Oi, Wendy, come on, Family Fun Day waits for no one." – Mr. Pines called. Wendy walked to the front door to see her boss tapping his foot impatiently. – "There you are, here, put this blindfold on."

Wendy stared at the offered handkerchief. "Are you planning to kill us all for the insurance money?"

"If I wanted to do that, I'd stop telling Soos to take a shower." Stan retorted. Wendy sighed and grabbed the cloth, putting it on as a blindfold before allowing him to guide her to his car. After accidently sitting on Dipper, who froze like a statue during the process, Wendy found her seat just in time to buckle in before Stan sped off. 

* * *

"Okay, okay, open'em up." Stan ordered his employees. As one; Wendy, Soos, Mabel and Dipper took off their blindfolds to see Stan dressed in fishing gear in front Gravity Falls Lake. – "Tada, its fishing season!"

Wendy palmed her face.


	10. Chapter 10 Beware the Gobblewonker pt 1

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Alex Hirsch and Disney.**

**Chapter 10: Beware the Gobblewonker Part 1**

"What're you playing at old man? Why the sudden interest in fishing?" Dipper asked, confronting his Grunkle. Stan ignored the accusation, instead waving out to the lake.

"Are you kidding me, the whole town's out here. Where else would we be?" Stan stated. And he was right; Wendy observed nearly the entire town was out on the lake, all trying to win the fishing competition. The only people who weren't immediately present were her friends and the Gleefuls. Wendy saw her father break Paul's fishing pole before reaching into the lake to pull out a decent sized trout with his hands.

"This is prime family bonding time." Stan expressed, gazing out over the lake. Wendy smirked.

"Are you sure it's not because you want to win the fishing competition?" The twins glanced up at her.

"Fishing competition?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah, every year on the first day of fishing season, Ranger McGucket holds a competition where the person who gets the heaviest fish wins a dollar for every pound on the fish. Second place gets fifty cents on the pound. At ten dollars per person competing, it's a win-win for McGucket and the first place entry, since the winning fish has yet to weigh under a hundred pounds." Wendy answered. The twins gave a sound of awe as they contemplated the potential payout. Stan snorted.

"Please, I never compete; it's a fool's gamble. The Pisces family wins every year, first and second place. No, today is all about the bonding." Wendy quirked an eyebrow, usually Stan was on top of everything that was going on in the town, second only to Gideon's spy cameras.

"You didn't hear? The Pisces are down to five members competing this time." This caught Stan's attention.

"You don't say," – her boss replied, stroking his chin. – "That settles it, this year the Mystery Shack is going to win the Gravity Falls Fishing Competition. Wendy, here's fifty dollars to go sign us up; Soos, get your boat ready, we're gonna need it, and kids, be prepared for the most intense ten hours of your life."

"Ten hours?!" they cried in dismay. Wendy chuckled to herself as she headed over to the bait shop to sign the five of them up. Her good mood evaporated when she saw the _Mystery Eats _truck parked next to the shop. Will waved at her from inside the truck, which Wendy pointedly ignored. She was still a little angry over his manipulation of how he answered her question from before. She registered the Mystery Shack employees, sans Will for the fishing competition. On the way out, she bumped into Will, who was waiting just outside.

"What are you doing here?" she snapped, Wendy wasn't in the mood for any of Will's shenanigans at the moment. The man shrugged.

"Promoting the _Mystery Eats _brand, watch a bunch of shmucks waste time trying to catch the second biggest fish in the lake, keep an eye on you to make sure you're not cheating. You know; regular human stuff." Wendy stared at him, suspicious.

"I thought you were an all-seeing demon, why do you need to be down here to make sure I'm not cheating?" she asked. Will stared at her nonplussed with her questioning.

"In case you can't tell, in a human body." He stated, indicating himself, "Some things have to be seen with your own eyes."

"If you say so, but I'm watching you." Wendy replied, pointing her fingers at her eyes, and then his own to indicate that she was watching him. Will simply smirked and walked back to the food truck, calling out that fish tacos were two dollars off if the customer brought their own fish. Wendy walked over to the pier, brushing past McGucket as he ran by, murmuring something about finding some sort of creature himself, to where the twins were waiting nervously.

"What's going on, you guys look nervous?" Wendy inquired. Dipper was looking out across the lake, at Scuttlebutt Island.

"An old man ran through here, talking about how there was a monster in the lake." Dipper replied, "He claimed that it destroyed his boat and we were all in grave danger."

"Don't forget 'Oh, Donkeyspittle'," Mabel stated in a hick voice, crossing her eyes to emphasize the state of the man. Wendy sniggered a little bit at Mabel's portrayal of the town kook.

"Well, I've never heard about any monster in Gravity Falls Lake, so I think we'll be fine." Wendy reassured them. She was not certain that it was the truth, as she did not remember Stan taking the twins on any trip to Gravity Falls Lake on Family Fun Day last time. She and her friends had instead taken advantage of the lack of police presence to graffiti half the town and steal some liquor. The twins accepted her assurance, just in time for Soos to pull up in his boat.

"All aboard the S.S. Cool Dude," Soos waved from the wheel.

"Finally, took you long enough to get the boat over here," – Stan grumped as he strode past Wendy and the twins with his fishing supplies, only pausing to place fishing caps on Dipper and Mabel's heads. – "Careful not to lose those, they're hand stitched."

The twins looked at their hats before smiling at each other and scrambling aboard the boat, Wendy followed them at a sedate pace, and absently wondered what her friends were doing at the moment without her.

* * *

Thompson wearily looked at the bottle of Hirsch-Bomb in his hand. "Guys, I'm not sure about this."

Lee slapped him on the back, "Thompson, quit being such a wuss. Just drink it."

The group then started to chant, "Thompson. Thompson. Thompson."

With his friends chanting around him, Thompson steeled his nerves, and began to chug the bottle like it was filled with popcorn oil. Over the burning of his throat, Thompson heard the cheering of his friends as he killed the bottle. After emptying the bottle, he threw it to the ground with a cheer of his own. Then, faster than it went down, the Hirsch-Bomb came rushing back out. The group stared at the mess on the ground for several moments before Nate nudged Lee.

"$10 dollars says you won't slurp that up."

* * *

The misery of the blazing sun was only made worse by the lack of fish biting.

'Though,' Wendy reflected, 'it's probably because of Stan's terrible jigs.'

Half of the jigs were melted together, and the other half smelled like they had been rubbed on the floor of the world's worst locker room. The live bait smelled marginally better. Wendy did not foresee the Mystery Shack team turning in a fish, let alone win the fishing competition.

She was currently hiding in the shade of whatever it was that covered the steering wheel as the sun was torture on her pale skin, and for some reason, no one had remembered to bring sunscreen. She felt a stab of sympathy as she observed Dipper bring his vest over his head in order to keep more of his skin out of the sun, but she was not going to give up her spot to anyone else on the boat, not with the sunburns she'd get.

"Hey, you gonna lay there like a lump, or are you gonna fish?" Stan asked from his position at the front of the boat. Wendy simply smiled as she lay back against the steering column and closed her eyes.

"Mr. Pines, you know us Corduroy's only fish with our bare hands."

"You fish with bear hands?" Mabel gasped, "Do you use baby bear hands?"

"Mabel, I'm pretty certain Wendy doesn't actually me—" Dipper was interrupted by his sister making a growling noise and faking a swipe at him. Dipper fell backwards with a yelp and Mabel jumped on him, growling about her "bear hands" as the two wrestled. Their play was interrupted when Soos saw his line zip out.

"Mr. Pines, I got one!" Stan made his way over as Soos stared at the rapidly decreasing fishing line.

"What are you waiting for? Reel it in." Stan stated as he gave the rod a yank, hooking the fish. Soos squealed in excitement as he started to eagerly reel in the fish. By this time, the twins and Wendy were gathered around, cheering Soos on as he tried to bring in the fish. Soos spent nearly twenty minutes reeling in the fish in, and it was touch and go for a little bit, as occasionally the reel seemed like it was about to snap in half as the fish fought to escape. The anticipation rose as they saw a dark shadow start to rise up near the boat, nearly equal in size to the vessel.. Then with a pop, the fish shot out of the water and into the boat. They all stared at the fish that laid on the boat in surprise.

It was a small bluegill, just barely five inches long.

"What's this?" Stan stated in astonishment, "Is this some kind of joke? But we just saw…and the shadow, and the fight…"

"Mr. Pines, just accept that we managed to catch a fish after fishing several hours." Wendy spoke, "At least we have something to turn in."

"Turn in, this wouldn't even be good for Will's fish tacos." Stan snapped, before his brow furrowed in thought, "Maybe we could use it as bait…"

Soos gasped, "Use it as bait, Mr. Pines, we can't use Gilly as bait."

"Gilly?" Stan asked, confused, "You haven't even had that fish for thirty seconds; you can't give it a name."

"Too late Mr. Pines, I think Mabel's gotten attached to it." Wendy answered, gesturing back at Mabel, who, after placing the bluegill in a large bucket full of water, was making fish faces at it and cooing. Dipper simply looked on in embarrassment. Stan slapped his face in frustration. Before he could say anything further, the boat lurched. Wendy managed to keep her balance by holding onto the steering column, but she saw Mabel tip over and fall into the fish bucket before Dipper pulled her out.

"What was that, did we hit something?" Stan stated, looking over the edge of the boat to see if they hit an underwater tree. Everyone began looking around, trying to figure out what had caused the boat to lurch. There were no shadows under their boat, and the lake was calm.

"I'm not seeing anything Mr. Pines." Soos answered. Stan glared around suspiciously.

"Well something hit the boat." Any further discussion was cut off as the boat lurched again, stronger than the first time. This time everyone fell down as the boat swayed. Then the boat lunged forward, some unseen force dragging the boat to an unknown destination. The boat zigged and zagged, causing everyone on board to roll around, crashing into each other as they tried to keep themselves in control. The only one on the boat that seemed to be unaffected by the conditions that they were under was Gilly, who floated contently, oblivious as the bucket slid from side to side with the turns. Eventually though, the boat stopped making turns and slowed down to a gentle drift before finally coming to a grinding halt.

Everyone laid where they were for several moments longer, uncertain if they wanted to try standing up again since last time they had ended up rolling around out of control. When it was clear that nothing was going to happen, they all starting getting up from where they laid.

"Where are we?" Mabel asked, looking around at the dense fog that was beginning to settle on the boat. Nobody recognized where they were, nobody except Stan.

"We're on Scuttlebutt Island." He answered grimly.


	11. Beware the Gobblewonker Part 2

**Hey, sorry for missing last week's deadline, but finals week tends to take over lives. Quick thanks to smithy936 and nightfallzx for following this story. I'm also giving a callout to Unbiased Persona for your lovely review on the previous chapter. I'm going to admit, its quite _odd_ to not see more people trying to figure out the mysteries based on the scraps that they get. I'm guessing that I'm hanging out with the gravityfalls folks on reddit too much.**

**On with the story.**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Beware the Gobblewonker Part 2**

"Heh, Butt Island." Soos giggled. Stan rolled his eyes.

"Let's get out and take a look at the damage." Stan ordered. Mabel needed no further encouragement, she squealed in excitement as she leapt from the boat and onto the sand. As the other members of the boat crawled out of the boat, Wendy realized that the only one who had not moved to get out of the boat was Dipper. He was sitting next to Gilly's container, head between his legs.

"Hey dude, you okay?" Wendy asked, wondering if perhaps he had gotten injured while everyone was crashing into each other. Dipper took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. He then looked up at Wendy, who was gazing down at him.

"Who me? Yeah, I'm fine." - Dipper answered before standing up. – "We'd better go see what they're up to."

Mr. Pines and Soos looked over the boat with a careful eye.

"Well, the good news is that there isn't a hole in the boat." Stan stated.

"And what's the bad news?" Dipper asked, trying to ignore his frolicking sister in the background. "_Yay, sand!" _Wendy was standing next to him, curious as well.

"Well, we're going to need a log of some sort to lever the boat out of the sand." Stan responded. "So this means that you're going to have to go into the woods and bring something back."

Dipper frowned, "What are you going to be doing?"

"Obviously the rest of us are going to keep the boat from being stolen." Stan responded. "Soos, start taking up patrol on the beach; Wendy, I'm going to need you to use your freakish height to keep an eye out for any passing boats. Mabel, keep doing whatever it is you're doing."

"Uh, if its alright with you Mr. Pines, I'd rather go with Dipper to find some sort of log. I am after all, a lumberjack's daughter." Wendy bragged as she buffed her nails on her shirt. Stan rubbed his chin as he thought it over.

"Maybe you're right, I suppose you could make sure that that Dipper comes back with something suitable." Stan pondered. That was all that Wendy needed.

"Great, see you guys in a little bit." Wendy responded as she dragged Dipper towards the woods, pausing to scoop Mabel up as they disappeared into the fog.

"None of that dead stuff either!" - Stan called out after them. When he did not hear a response, he gave exasperated sigh before turning back to Soos. The handyman was pulling the fishing gear off the boat. –"What're you doing?"

"I was thinking that we could fish while we wait." The handyman responded. Stan stared at him for a moment before shrugging.

"Eh, why not?" Stan said, accepting his fishing rod from his employee.

* * *

_**Unknown Amount of Time Later…**_

"_I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something off about this island"_ Wendy thought to herself as she followed the twins through the woods.

The twins and Wendy had been looking through the forest for something to use as a lever for some time now, but unfortunately, everything on the ground so far was long dead and too large for the trio to move themselves. And without her hatchet, Wendy lacked the means to climb up a tree and get the greener branches to use. The twins did not appear to mind the lack of progress, but rather seemed to enjoy the opportunity to get away from fishing in the sun. They also were rather oblivious to the abnormal nature of the woods themselves.

While the fog on the island gave the woods a spooky quality, Wendy found that the woods itself could have done it on their own. The woods on the island were oddly silent, with only the sound of the wind whispering through the trees. Wendy found it unsettling, as forests were never quiet. There was always some sort of activity going on, and Wendy was starting to suspect that there was something up. She turned to Dipper.

"Hey Dipper, does there happen to be anything in that journal of yours that mentions Scuttlebutt Island." She asked. Dipper looked at her confused.

"I decided not to do anything else with the journal this summer, remember?" Dipper replied, "I left it back in a safe place in the Shack."

Wendy noticed that Mabel shuffled her feet nervously just behind Dipper.

"Mabel, do you know something?" Wendy asked. Dipper apparently knew what was going on as he spun around with a look of frustration.

"Mabel, did you bring the journal?" he snapped angrily. Mabel's look of nervousness became further entrenched as she looked away from Dipper.

"I thought you might want it, so I brought it along." Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath before exhaling.

"Mabel, you heard what I said before, not to mention that the very first time we looked into something in the journal, it almost got Wendy killed." Wendy decided to step in at this point, seeing Mabel so upset made her feel weird; sorrow was an unnatural state for the female twin.

"Dipper, if you hadn't looked into the journal, Mabel wouldn't be with us now. Instead she'd be gnome queen of the forest, and I'm pretty certain we would have never known if you weren't so suspicious of Norman to begin with." Wendy pointed out.

"That doesn't change the fact that you got hurt." Dipper countered.

"No, it doesn't." Wendy replied, placing a hand on Dipper's shoulder as she looked him in the eye, "but that doesn't mean you should focus on it. As my mom once said, if you're always looking to the past, then you'll never see the present."

Dipper mulled over her statement for several moments before sighing, "Maybe you're right Wendy. I guess I just don't want to see anyone get hurt."

He turned to Mabel, who was still fidgeting nervously, "Mabel, I'm sorry that I snapped at you, it wasn't right, even if I was frustrated with you."

Mabel smiled at him, "It's okay Dipper, I forgive you. I should have asked your permission to bring it along to begin with. Awkward sibling hug?"

Dipper shyly smiled back, "Awkward sibling hug."

The twins then hugged each other, "Pat Pat."

Once the twins separated, Mabel pulled the journal out from under her sweater, handing it to Dipper. Dipper weighed the book in his hands carefully as he stared at it in thought.

"Something the matter?" Wendy asked. Dipper shook his head.

"Nothing's the matter, it's just, once I open the journal, I feel like there's no going back." Dipper answered.

"Well duh, Bro bro," - Mabel chortled, poking Dipper in the side, - "there wouldn't be a need to invent time travel if you could already go back whenever you wanted."

Dipper smiled at his sister as he began flipping through the pages until he found the Scuttlebutt Island entry.

_**Scuttlebutt Island: If there was an origin to the naming of this island, it has long since been lost. The name today likely comes from the thick fog that covers the island year-round, making knowledge about this mysterious island rumor at best. The notable wildlife on this island is a family of beavers, the largest catfish I have ever seen, and the elusive Gobblewonker.**_

_**Gobblewonker: This creature is reclusive and seems to have a second sense when someone is searching for it. The only physical features that I have been able to make out from long-term observation are that it has a long neck and is roughly forty feet in length. I have however, made extensive notation on this creatures behavior. The Gobblewonker appears to only be active during the late spring to early fall period, subsisting on a diet of fish and algae. During the winter, it disappears without a trace. I believe that like turtles, the Gobblewonker buries itself beneath the lake mud to hibernate. The most notable behavior of the Gobblewonker is that it is extremely territorial in regards to its food. I have seen many a fisherman and fishing boat vanish after engaging in an extensive fishing battle only to catch small fish. I suspect that the Gobblewonker lacks teeth to hold onto its prey, and thus these fishermen have literally pulled the fish out of its mouth, resulting in its attack.**_

The trio remained silently as they considered what Dipper had just read. Wendy was the first to speak.

"You don't think…" Wendy started. Dipper nodded.

"I think that Gilly was being eaten by the Gobblewonker when Soos hooked it." Dipper finished, stating what she had been thinking. Mabel gasped.

"Poor Gilly, that must have been so scary, getting eaten by the Gobblewonker. It's a good thing Soos saved him."

"No, it's not a good thing, didn't you hear what I just read, the Gobblewonker's going to make us disappear!" Dipper answered, his voice rising in a panic. Mabel waved off his concerns.

"Please, it's obviously some sort of water animal, as long as we stay on land, we'll be fine." Mabel's dismissed. Off in the distance, there was a loud roar, followed by the sound of falling trees.


	12. Beware the Gobblewonker Part 3

**Thanks everyone, for being so patient in waiting...except that one guy who kept pestering me, you know who you are. Anyways, everyone knows how life works, especially how it gets in the way of things. Anyways, back to the story, hopefully the next update will not take so long.**

**Chapter 12: Beware the Gobblewonker Part 3**

Wendy did not know what had made the sound, but she was not going to stick around to find out. Only problem was, the heavy fog made it impossible to tell which direction that the trio had come from.

"You guys remember which way we came from?" she asked Dipper and Mabel. The twins shook their head; they were as lost as she was.

"Right…this way then." Wendy stated as she pointed in a random direction. The trio then darted off, hoping that they had chosen correctly.

* * *

The fishing reel whizzed as Soos cast his reel contentedly. Almost everything that he ever wanted had come together on this day; a day alone with Mr. Pines, just the two of them doing father and son activities together. The only way it could be made better was if they were to become a real father and son pair. Soos could imagine it now.

_The sun was setting, casting an orange glow over all of Gravity Falls. It was just Soos and Stan, staring out as that big orange ball in sky fell beyond the horizon. Stan turned to his employee of 17 years._

_"Soos, there's something I gotta tell ya." Stan started, a teary gleam in his eye. Soos stared at him with excitement._

_"Yes, Mr. Pines?" Stan gave a ragged gasp, bringing his hand to his mouth. He then opened his mouth to speak._

_"Soos, wake up." Soos looked at his boss in confusion._

_"What?" _

_"Soos, if you don't wake up I'm going to ban you from company breakfast for a week."_

Soos blinked, his dream fading, the reality of his glaring boss sitting next to him taking over.

"Huh, what?" Soos stated.

"Geez, did you hit your head when we rolling around on the boat?" Mr. Pines asked.

"I'm fine Mr. Pines, just thinking about what a nice day it is." Soos replied.

"Hmm, I guess it is a nice day for fishing. I wonder what's taking those three so long." Stan stated, recasting his own rod.

* * *

"If I had known I was going to be running today, I would have worn something other than my boots." Wendy gasped as the trio went crashing through the underbrush. Wendy was in the lead so that she would take the brunt of the branches as they ran through them. Dipper and Mabel were close behind her, panting from exertion as they tried to flee the great beast following them. Wendy knew that the three of them couldn't keep running forever, she herself was just about at her limit. They needed a place to hide from the Gobblewonker, if at least for a little while. Then she saw a large tree lying on its side, uprooted from some unknown cause. Without speaking, Wendy grabbed the twins and threw them behind the tree before diving behind it herself. Seconds after they hid, she saw a monstrous shape slither through the fog, continuing in the direction that they had been heading.

The trio gave a collective sigh of relief as they realized that the ploy had worked.

"So what now?" – Dipper whispered as he fanned his sweaty face with his cap. – "I mean, we can't just head back to the boat, the Gobblewonker might follow us there."

"Yeah, it might decide to finish the job on Gilly." Mabel stated lowly, concerned over the fate of the fish.

"Mabel, would you stop worrying about the fish." Dipper hissed. "In case you haven't noticed that fish is the reason we're running through the woods from what appears to be the Loch Ness monster's cousin."

"A cousin, I was thinking it was probably more of a sibling." Mabel pondered.

"The relationship of the Gobblewonker and the Loch Ness Monster isn't what we should be focusing on. We need to figure out how we're going to escape." Wendy interrupted, if she hadn't intervened, the two probably would have devolved into an argument that would have drawn the attention of the very creature they were hiding from. It had happened before.

"Well, it's territorial over food right, kinda like you Dipper." Mabel started, ignoring Dipper's scowl, "So why don't we just find a different fish to feed it?"

Wendy pondered Mabel's statement for a moment. "You know, that's not a bad idea at all."

"Except we don't have any fishing gear." Dipper retorted. Wendy smirked.

"You forget Dipper, you're looking at Gravity Falls best noodler." - Wendy stated, flexing her bicep. Dipper and Mabel looked at her in confusion. – "It means I'm the best bare-handed fisherman in the town."

"Oh." The twins replied, still not getting it. Wendy gave a sigh of frustration.

"Look, just get me to a body of water with fish in it, and I'll get something."

"This way then, I can smell the water!" Mabel stated, taking off into the fog. Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"We're on an island, Mabel, we're surrounded by water." He said to no one before following his sister, Wendy followed the two before she lost track of them.

* * *

Whether it was because Mabel's nose had actually led them to water, or the fact that they were on an island, the trio quickly reached the lake. The edge of the island that they were at was barren of any identifying features, the water was shallow, gently lapping at the overhang they were on. Fortunately, Wendy could see some fish floundering around, nibbling at the algae and other plant life.

"So, what now, oh great maker of noodles?" Mabel asked. Wendy smirked at the younger girl.

"Oh, you mock me now, but you won't when you see these magic hands at work." Wendy answered. "Though I kinda wished I had worn my swimsuit today."

"Why, does it make noodling easier?" Dipper inquired.

"With my pale skin? Not really, it actually makes it harder, especially in clear water like this," Wendy explained, "it's just that wet denim chafes, and I don't want to spend the next few days walking like a cowboy."

"You could always take your pants off," Mabel leered, "I won't mind."

Wendy shook her head, "Mabel, one of these days we're going to have a talk about what is appropriate workplace banter."

"But we're not in the workplace." Mabel pointed out.

"Touché." Wendy replied as she removed her boots, socks, and her flannel shirt. While she set her footwear next to the twins, she wrapped her flannel shirt loosely around her arm until just her index finger was uncovered. She then gently dropped into the water, bringing her arm under the water before going motionless; the only movement observed was the gently wiggling of her finger. The twins were silent as they observed her, but they could only sit still for so long before becoming bored.

"Hey, Wendy, is noodling a catch-all term for bare-handed fishing, or only certain types of bare-handed fishing?" Dipper asked from the shore. Mabel appeared to be taking a nap.

"Hmm, it's a term used for all the different styles of bare-handed fishing." Wendy replied, concentrating on a trout that was lazily making its way towards her.

"What kind of styles are there?"

"Well, there's my dad's method, which is waiting until a fish starts to swim by before snatching it out of the water. There's the method that I'm using right now, which is where the fisherman draws in the fish with their finger mimicking a worm. Then there's my preferred method, catfisting." Wendy replied. Mabel leapt up at this.

"By day, Wendy Corduroy is a lazy employee at the unassuming Mystery Shack, but by night…she turns into Meow Ninja, practitioner of the Cat Fist and defender of homeless kittens! Wacha!" Mabel started swinging her fists in mock karate moves while making Kung Fu noises. Wendy couldn't keep herself from giggling, then groaning as she realized that her laughter had scared the trout off. She looked back to the twins to tell them that they would have to wait a little while longer, but froze as she thought she saw movement in the woods beyond them.

"Guys." She hissed, trying to get their attention. The two ignored her, focused on Mabel's impromptu Kung Fu act. The movement was turning into a defined shadow, large and towering over them. She called to them again, this time getting their attention. They looked to her and turned pale.

"Behind you!" the two parties called out, pointing to behind the other. Wendy turned, and saw the Gobblewonker staring down at her. It opened its maw and roared, causing her to fall back into shallow water. She scrabbled backwards, trying to get away from the creature. She screamed as the Gobblewonker lunged forward, taking her arm into its mouth. It pulled back, trying to pick her up, but the shirt wrapped around her arm slid off, freeing her from its grasp. She turned and scrambled up the bank, vaguely noticing that there was another Gobblewonker on the shore, advancing out of the fog, but completely ignoring the twins. Its focus was on its waterborne counterpart. Wendy did not question her good fortune, and simply grabbed Dipper and Mabel as she ran back into the woods, away from the monsters. There was a roar, followed by the sound of two bodies coming together in a thunderous crash as the two Gobblewonkers fight for dominance echoed through the forest after the trio as they fled.

* * *

Wendy did not know how long they ran, but she kept the trio moving until they could no longer hear the Gobblewonkers fighting. It was only then that she allowed them to stop in small clearing. Mabel simply flopped to the forest floor, groaning from all of the running that they had done. Dipper claimed a stump to sit on as he tucked his head between his legs, before he apparently started to do breathing exercises of some sort. Wendy eased herself to the ground, wincing as her wet jeans slid over what was undoubtedly chafed skin.

"You guys okay?" Wendy asked, peering into the fog. She did not want to get caught off-guard again, she didn't think that she could flee from the Gobblewonker again, not with her bare feet and chafed legs. Dipper and Mabel gave groans of some sort; Wendy opted to assume that the twins were okay physically since they had the ability to groan. Time passed in silence as the group recuperated from their ordeal. Dipper eventually stopped his breathing exercises and started looking through the journal, seeking some way that they could get out of the mess they were in. Mabel eventually broke the silence.

"This is the worst Family Fun Day ever." Mabel cried from her spot "Going to the jail would've been better than this."

"At least it's almost over" Wendy lied. She wasn't even sure what time it was, not to mention whether or not they would be able to get off the island. Mabel looked up from her place on the ground.

"Are you lying to us to make us feel better?" Wendy opted not to answer Mabel's question, instead, she stood up, deciding that the best thing to do was to make their way back to the boat and escape. She was counting on the fight between the Gobblewonkers being debilitating enough that the winner would be too tired to chase after them when they made their escape from Scuttlebutt Island.

"Let's get going guys, we're not going to get out of here unless we start moving."

"Do we even know where we're going?" Dipper asked as he stood. Mabel was a little slower to stand, reluctant to get moving. Wendy shook her head.

"Not really, but we won't go the way that we came, so we're better off than before. So who wants to pick the direction." She asked. Dipper pointed left of the way that they had arrived.

"I think we should head that direction. According to the map in the journal, there's two major landmarks on the island. The beach, and some sort of shipwreck that the beavers here live out of. If we head that way, there's a fairly decent chance that we'll find the beach. If we find the beavers, then we just have to turn around and head straight to the other side of the island to find the beach. Then we can get out of here."

"That's the best news I've heard all day." Wendy declared.

"We still don't have the log Grunkle Stan sent us out for." Mabel stated. Wendy chewed on the inside of her cheek as she considered it. As she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, she came to a realization. Her feet didn't hurt, well, with the exception of the natural fatigue from running. But her feet were fine otherwise. In a wooded area, there were always branches, twigs, and other fallen debris that littered the forest floor. Running barefoot should have torn her feet up, but because the only ground cover was grass, her feet felt fine.

"I don't think we're going to find anything useable." Wendy replied.

"We shouldn't give up, we might find something on the way back." Dipper answered.

"Then we would've found something by now. Normally there would be stuff everywhere, and considering that nobody's been on this island for some time, this whole island should be one ember away from lighting up like a tinderbox; but there's nothing here." Wendy pointed out.

"Then we should probably get going, and just try to push the boat out without the lever. If there's something on the island aside from the Gobblewonker, I don't want to stick around." Dipper stated as he turned and headed in the direction that he pointed to before. Wendy and Mabel jogged after him quickly.

* * *

Stan Pines was not a patient man. He knew this, everyone in Gravity Falls knew it. So why were the younger members of the Mystery Shack taking so long to get back, they'd gone out to find a log to use as a lever hours ago, at this point he'd settle just for their help in pushing the boat out manually. He glanced at his watch, noting that there was only ninety minutes left in the competition. He'd give them ten more minutes before he went looking for the trio himself, considering the size of the island, it couldn't be that hard to find them.

"Oh, thank goodness, we found the beach." He heard Mabel cry from behind him. He looked behind him and saw the shape that the trio was in.

"Geez, what happened, did the ugly tree fall on you?" - Stan snarked. He was relieved to see them, even if they had taken forever to get back. Until he noticed that they had failed to bring back anything to push the boat out. – "Seriously, you guys were out there for at least two hours. What were you doing?"

"Learning about sexual harassment in the workplace." Mabel exclaimed.

"Tickling the trout." Wendy replied nonchalantly.

"Learning about beavers." Dipper groaned. Stan looked at each of them in turn.

"If it wasn't for Dipper, I'd think that something inappropriate had gone on while you were gone." – Stan stated. – "On another note, when we get back, we are all going to have long talk about phrasing."

"So what now Mr. Pines?" Soos inquired from his spot. Stan turned to look at the boat.

"Well, obviously we're just going to have to push the boat out ourselves." - Stan started, as he considered what they would have to do. – "We'll probably have to move some sand out of the way to make it easier to push into the water, pull the stuff out of the boat, and push it from one side until it gets…"

Everyone on the beach had stopped paying attention to Stan as they observed a shadow begin to rise out of the water.

"Grunkle Stan." Dipper stated. His Grunkle ignored him, continuing to gesture as he talked about how to get the boat off of the beach.

"Mr. Pines." Wendy continued. Stan ignored her too, instead raising his voice over hers. This time the shadow was towering over them, the glowing eyes of the Gobblewonker were visible as it peered on the small group.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel screamed. Stan turned to her.

"What?" Stan scowled. The trio pointed behind him.

"The Gobblewonker's behind you." They cried out. Stan scratched his head.

"Gobble what?" before anyone could repeat what they had said, the creature made its presence known. It gave a mighty roar, spewing spittle over Stan. Stan turned around slowly, and looked on in awe at the Gobblewonker.

"What the heck is that?" Stan yelled as he stepped back from the tower beast. The Gobblewonker snorted before rearing back to attack, but as it did so, there was an ear-grating grinding noise, followed with a great crack, and the Gobblewonker froze, before its head started to fall to the side. The group watched stupefied as the Gobblewonker hit the beach with a thunderous crash. Soos was the first to speak.

"Dudes, that's like, the same sound Mr. Pines mower makes when it breaks down. Maybe it's some sort of machine built by a mad scientist to take over the lake?" Soos stated. They all turned to the handyman. Mr. Pines pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Soos, I know you're trying to help, but there is no way that is a machine." Mr. Pine exclaimed. There was a creaking noise as a door opened up on the side of the beast.

"Aw, banjo polish. I knew I should've equipped this with a flamethrowing dohicky." A voice echoed out of the Gobblewonker's innards.

"I stand corrected." Stan muttered to himself. McGucket then popped out of the side of the Gobblewonker.

"Oh, look, it's the old man from before." Dipper pointed out. At Wendy's look of confusion, he continued. "He's the one that told us that we were in grave danger."

"Oh, that's ironic." Wendy murmured. She leaned over to whisper to Dipper, "Do you think he's the one that was chasing us?"

Dipper shrugged. "Maybe, we could ask him."

As she observed the old man flailing about, Wendy decided that she didn't really want to know. Mabel, however, did not share her view. The younger girl ran over to McGucket and thrust her finger into the man's face.

"Hey, are you the one that was chasing us through the woods?" Mabel demanded her face as serious as Wendy had ever seen. McGucket stopped his dancing to stare at the young girl.

He slapped his knee, "Nah, by jiminy. I was tracking the Gobblewonker through them there woods. And when I found him, I beat him off from eating some teens."

Mabel withdrew her accusing finger, nervously coughing into her hand. "Well then, thank you."

Stan stepped in at this point. "Look, this is all very fascinating, but in case you haven't noticed, we're still stuck here."

"Well, why don't we try and push the boat out now? It's not like we weren't going to just a few minutes ago?" Wendy pointed out. The rest of the group shrugged before moving to push the boat off the beach.

* * *

It took them some time, but with the help of the malfunctioning Gobblewonker scooping sand out from behind the boat, they got it pushed off the beach. Stan was cranky by the end of it all.

"We only have 45 minutes left, and there's just this stupid bluegill to show for it." Stan grumped. The rest of the group groaned in response.

"Mr. Pines, we were never going to win that contest. Let's just go find my stuff and congratulate the winner." Wendy replied. Stan grunted as he maneuvered the boat around the island, looking for the bank that the trio had described earlier. It did not take very long, the location that they spoke of was a mere fifty feet away from the beach, hidden from view by a thick copse of trees.

"I don't believe it, we were this close, how the heck did you not hear the Gobblewonker fight?" Dipper asked his Grunkle.

The man shrugged, "I wasn't paying attention."

Dipper slapped his face in frustration as Wendy jumped from the boat into the shallow water. As she made her way over to where her boots were, she stopped. Just out of sight of where she had been fishing earlier, was an underwater hole in the side of the overhang. She turned back to the boat.

"Hey guys, you still interested in winning the contest?" She asked.

"Of course we want to win the contest. Somebody has to beat the Pisces, and I want it to be me." Stan answered.

"Then give me five minutes." Wendy replied, before charging towards the hole.

"But we don't have five minutes." - Stan bellowed. Once he realized that Wendy was not listening to him, he turned to the rest of the crew. – "Dipper, you go get Wendy's socks and boots, Soos, keep the engine running. Mabel…you just keep keeping an eye on McGucket. Make sure he doesn't do anything to the boat."

* * *

Ranger McGucket glanced at his watch; all of the teams with the exception of the Mystery Shack had come in and weighed their fish. With only five minutes left, it was doubtful that the Mystery Shack would make it back to the dock in time. He turned back to the gathered crowd, all eagerly awaiting for the announcement of who won the fishing contest. The Pisces family was off to the side, busy touching up their looks for the winner's photo, it obvious that they were certain of their victory. They had every reason to as well, the salmon they turned in was 100 pounds, 60 pounds heavier than the second place entry of the Corduroy's. Well, no sense in delaying the inevitable. Ranger McGucket walked up to the podium, and began tapping the microphone to check its sound before clearing his throat.

"Welcome Gravity Falls, to the completion of another successful Fishing Day competition." Ranger waited for the gathered crowd to quiet as they cheered. "Now, today was a good turnout, and I'm glad that everyone was so enthusiastic about competing. Without any further ado…"

"Hey, wait, we haven't entered our fish yet!" Ranger McGucket turned to see the Mystery Shack crew driving up to the dock. Ranger looked at his watch to see that they had pulled in with seconds to spare, except that according to the contest rules, they had to have their fish weighed by the end time. So in reality, they were late.

"I'm sorry, but you're too late to enter your fish, if you had gotten in a minute ago, it would have been fine." Ranger told the beaten looking group.

"Well, now, let's not be too hasty." – Brian Jr., the eldest child of the Pisces seniors spoke up, a malicious gleam in his eye. – "I think we should allow them to enter their fish, I don't want to hear Stan Pines spend the next year belly-aching about the unfairness of a competition he rightly lost."

"The only belly that's going to be aching around here is yours." Stan shot back with his fist raised.

"There's no need to be threatening with violence Mr. Pines." – Ranger McGucket told the older man. – "If the second place finisher okay's you entering your fish, then I see no reason why you can't get your fish weighed right now."

He turned to Dan Corduroy, who nodded his consent after a moment's pause of locking eyes with his daughter. Ranger turned back to the Mystery Shack crew. "Well then, in that case, let's weigh your fish."

* * *

"Did you see the look on the Pisces faces?" Dipper exclaimed, laughing as the group drove back to the Mystery Shack.

"They did look surprised." Wendy chuckled.

"Surprised? They look like someone kicked their puppy!" Stan laughed. "Shame you made us put it back in Mabel. Could've made a lot of money off of an exhibit for a 200 pound catfish."

"It wouldn't have been right Grunkle Stan. I mean, would you have appreciated being locked up for other people's amusement after living in freedom all your life." Mabel explained. Stan looked at her in confusion.

"Mabel, you know that zoos…" Stan paused as he saw Dipper making frantic cutting motions across his throat. Mabel looked at him from the backseat with innocence shining from her eyes.

"What Grunkle Stan?" Stan rubbed the back of his neck nervously trying to think of an answer when he saw Soos's truck following them on the road.

"Well, you know that Soos never complains about it." Stan lied. Mabel giggled.

"Pfft, that's because he likes working for you. Besides, you can just frame the picture that was taken and show that off instead."

"It is a great photo," Wendy chimed in, "It even has the Pisces sobbing in the background."

Stan snorted, "It's not the same has having the genuine article to show off."

"Hey Grunkle Stan, you know what would be a great idea? What if we made flyers of the photo and had it passed around town for everyone to see." Dipper stated. Wendy grinned at him.

"Dude, that is like, one of the best ideas I've heard in a while. Let's do that as soon as we get back." Dipper smiled back shyly in response. When Dipper looked back forward, he shrieked.

"Grunkle Stan, watch out for that sign!"


	13. Beware the Gobblewonker: Epilogue

**Gobblewonker Epilogue**

* * *

Silence reigned over the clearing that the Mystery Shack sat in, giving the ramshackle building a foreboding quality to it. Gompers was taking advantage of the lack of activity to calmly eat the stronger tufts of grass that tried to take back the clearing. At the moment, Gompers was enjoying a small bit of dandelion that Stan had missed in his attempts to rip off tourists; every day the conman would pull up every dandelion on the Shack's property and sell the yellow heads as fairy pillows and the leaves as fairy dresses. Gompers paused in his enjoyment of the dandelion when he heard a sound too low for human ears in the distance.

Normally, Gompers tended to ignore anything going on around the shack, but the sound was getting steadily louder. Before Gompers could decide whether or not to move on, Stan's beloved El Diablo came bursting out of the forest, revealing the noise that Gompers heard was the sound of one teen and two preteens screaming in terror as their elderly driver was squinting to see his way around the trees.

The car gradually coasted to a stop, whether from a lack of fuel or Mr. Pines taking his foot off the gas, Wendy did not know, nor did she care; but once the vehicle stopped, Wendy and the twins were scrambling to get out as quickly as possible.

"Hey, what's your guys' problems? You're acting like I went into the woods or something?" Stan grumbled.

"You did drive through the woods!" the trio shouted at the man. Stan huffed as he stepped out of the car.

"Don't be absurd, if I had driven through the woods, there would be leaves all over the grill of the car." - He stated. He paused as he got a look at the front of the car. There were enough leaves and tree branches sticking out of the grill that a person could mistakenly believe that there was a plant growing out of the car. – "Well, regardless, we all got here safely."

"Barely," Dipper gasped from his place on the ground. Stan glared at the boy for a moment before he rubbed his hands together.

"Anyways, I have some very important things that I need to have done. And by I, I mean you guys." – The con-artist stated. – "Mabel, you come inside with me to make some obnoxiously visible posters for embarrassing the Pisces; Wendy, you clean the car."

"What, but you're the one that drove through the woods." Wendy protested.

"And I sign your paycheck." Her boss stated. Wendy glared at him for a few moments before she turned to the car to start cleaning out the grill, grumbling under her breath as she started removing branches from the formerly clean car. She worked in silence for several minutes before she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned, expecting Dipper.

It was Cipher, his face inches away from her own, with a creepy grin on his face. "Hi."

Wendy was really proud of herself for not reacting other than to shove a fistful of leaves into the demon's mouth. "What do you want?"

It took a moment for the demon to spit the leaves out of his possessed mouth. "Ugh, seriously, why can you meat bags taste leaves you can't eat? That's really weird."

"Focus, what are you doing here? The Mystery Shack's closed and you aren't supposed to be here until tomorrow morning."

Cipher had a blank look on his face. "Hmm…not sure. I mean, I originally came over here for a reason, but I completely forgot."

Wendy glared at him, "I am literally two seconds away from poking your eyes out with a stick."

"Wow, calm down toots. Rough day?" the demon said with a smile.

Wendy grabbed the front of his shirt and held up a stick she had pulled out of the car grill. "Not joking."

Cipher simply grinned, "Now look, I know you're thinking about hurting me, but do you really want to risk being caught by the twins? Besides, this is just a meatsuit, you won't actually hurt me. Just this poor, innocent body. Kind of like when your dad beat Dipper to a pulp."

The memory of watching her dad attacking Dipper's body until it was more hamburger than human caused Wendy to push Cipher away. "Get out of here before I change my mind."

The demon smirked before walking away, whistling some tune she did not recognize. Wendy watched Bill wandered off onto the path leading back to town, imagining a world where she had stabbed Cipher in the eye.

"You guys alright?" Dipper spoke up from behind her. Wendy jumped in surprise.

"What?" Wendy replied. Dipper gestured towards the path that Bill had taken.

"You guys seemed to be arguing there." Wendy frowned as she looked out towards where Bill had gone.

"We've haven't gotten along since we met." Wendy replied. "I saw him beating up someone because they thought he wasn't actually as great as he claimed to be."

She looked back towards Dipper, who was frowning now. "Did you tell anyone?"

"Unfortunately, nobody would believe me even if I did." Wendy answered.

"What? Why?"

Wendy shrugged, "My friends and I are not considered to be very reputable. It gets very boring in backwoods town like this, so we tended to act out. Didn't exactly win us any friends with the authorities."

Wendy sighed, "Look, I'm not telling you to stay away from him, but, just be careful okay?"

She turned back to the car to clean out the rest of the greenery. Before she could start, a pair of work gloves were thrust in front of her face. She looked up at a sheepishly grinning Dipper who had another pair of gloves on his hands.

"Sorry about walking off when you got started, I just remember Grunkle Stan driving through some thorn brushes on the way here, and I thought some gloves might be smart."

"Thanks dude, I probably would've realized I needed them after I jabbed myself, like a billion times." Wendy smiled in return as she took the gloves from Dipper.

* * *

The sun was going down when Wendy and Dipper finally managed to finish clearing out the branches from the grill.

"Ugh, finally finished." Wendy groaned as she laid onto her back. Dipper leaned back against the car, sweaty and exhausted.

"That was a bit harder than I expected." Dipper spoke aloud. Wendy snorted as she flipped the bill of her hat over her eyes to keep the setting sun from shining into her eyes.

"A bit? I didn't know that you could thread a tree branch through a car grill like that. It's like Mabel decided to give the car some braids."

Dipper smiled, "That sounds like something she would do."

"What cha guys talking about." Mabel spoke up from beside Dipper. Dipper let out a half-yell – half-screech as he flew through the air to get away from the unexpected surprise. He spent several moments wheezing as he tried to catch his breath. He spent the time trying to catch his breath glaring a Mabel, opting not to speak until the wheezing had stopped.

"Mabel, you know I hate it when you do that."

Mabel chortled, "I couldn't resist. You were just sitting there, completely unsuspecting of my approach, and then BAM! Anyways, what were you guys talking about?"

"We were talking about how difficult cleaning the car was." Wendy replied since Dipper was still glaring at Mabel.

'I wonder what that's about.' Wendy thought as she observed Dipper's behavior. Sure, Dipper had occasionally gotten mad at Mabel, for one thing or another, but it was usually when Mabel deliberately did something that was expressly against Dipper's wishes or when she pushed her teasing of him too far.

"So, how'd the poster thing come out?" Wendy continued as she moved onto what Stan had assigned Mabel to do.

Mabel smiled, "I really wanted to put glitter on it, but Grunkle Stan told me just a blown-up picture would do fine. We printed out like a hundred copies and posted them on every building in town."

Wendy flipped up her bill at this. "That many, did you leave any for us?"

Mabel grinned, "I saved one for the Shack. Stan said that if you wanted one for yourself, you'd have to pay for it."

She reached under her sweater and pulled out a roll of paper that was almost as big at herself. "Feast your eyes on this beauty."

The paper unfurled, revealing the image of the Mystery Shack crew holding up a 200 lb catfish that was as big as Soos. Mabel and Dipper were holding up the tail while Soos and Stan were holding up the middle of the fish. Wendy was holding up the head with one hand while the other was thrust into the air in a classic V for victory. Everyone there was wet to various degrees, but Wendy looked like she had just come out of the lake, which was not far from the truth.

The picture was nice, but there was something off about it that nagged at Wendy. "There's something off about this picture."

"Yeah, I had to photoshop the rash off your arm. I know that you're clearly some forest warrior princess with the scars and all, but Stan said leaving the marks would give the wrong impression about how he treats his employees." Mabel replied.

Wendy looked at her right arm. The fight with the catfish had been fierce, and shoving her arm down the fish's throat had left her arm looking like it had been through a sand blaster. "I really wish that the Gobblewonker hadn't stolen my shirt. I'd probably look less torn up."

"Maybe, but it adds a little more value getting that catfish. Those are marks you can tell to your children." Dipper pointed out.

Wendy smirked, "And maybe add a few hundred pounds to the fish?"

Dipper smiled back, "Why not change it to wrestling the Gobblewonker itself."

"Now there's an idea." Wendy said aloud. "Speaking of fish, what happened to Gilly?"

"Soos took him home. He said that there was no way that the Gobblewonker was going to find Gilly at his Abuelita's house." Mabel answered. Dipper and Wendy stared at the younger girl in silence for several moments.

"You did tell him that the Gobblewonker has a tendency to kill people that take its food…right?" Dipper asked.

"Soos said that since he hardly goes near the lake to begin with, the Gobblewonker will have moved on by the time he comes back near the lake." Mabel replied.

"That's…actually a good point." Wendy pondered. "I wonder if it'll focus on waiting for Soos, rather than killing other fisherman."

"Probably not for long, it has to eat sometime." Dipper pointed out. "I think the missing person count will go down marginally for a little while, but it'll probably bump back up to normal by the end of the week."

This time Dipper was the one being stared at. "You…you guys don't know about how Gravity Falls is like, the unsolved missing person capital in the US?"

"Uh, no. I don't know that and I live here." Wendy answered, curious now that Dipper had brought a previously unknown tidbit about her town up. "When you say missing person capital in the US…?"

"There were 1000 new missing person's cases in Oregon last year, the highest in the nation. I was able to attribute around 700 of those to Gravity Falls before we came up here. That's been the pattern ever since the National Search Assistance Act of 1990 required missing person reports to be filed with the NCIC database." Dipper answered flatly. He put his hand on his chin, briefly tapping it with his index finger. "Before, I thought that the high missing person count was because it's in the forest and people tend to go missing more often when they think they're near town in the woods."

Dipper stood up at this point and began to pace. "What if that's not it at all. I mean, the town is smack dab in the middle of either a caldera or a pseudocrater."

Wendy and Mabel looked at each other and shrugged, neither of them knew what Dipper was referring to. He was too deep into his soliloquy to notice their confusion.

"There's sheer cliffs on nearly all sides, with only one way in and out, the odds of so many people going unfound after being reported missing is..beyond astronomical. It's-" Dipper trailed off, reaching up to adjust his cap.

"Supernatural?" Mabel suggested.

Dipper nodded. "It's the reason that makes the most sense, especially considering what we know now about the existence of the Gnomes and the Gobblewonker. Who knows what else is out there."

The group sat in silence for several moments. Wendy rolled the information that she had just learned around in her mind as she reflected on her life in Gravity Falls. In all of her time in Gravity Falls, she had never heard of people going missing, no posters, no searches…nothing. She'd like to believe that it just never happened in her home town, but considering the information that Dipper revealed about the Gobberwonker, and Dipper's tendency to stick with fact...

'Have I been so self-centered that I never even noticed that things are so awful in Gravity Falls?' Wendy pondered. It was a heavy feeling, thinking that the seemingly lazy backwoods town was so dangerous, and she had never cared enough to notice except when she was directly involved with the twins adventures. 'Would I have even noticed anything if the twins hadn't even come up to visit Stan?'

Wendy reflected on the fact that she had been present for maybe a handful of events that occurred over the summer, who knew how many near-death experiences the twins had gone through when she wasn't around?

'I won't let them face the dangers alone this time.' Wendy promised herself.

"Wendy?" a voice came out of nowhere. The redhead blinked, drawing herself out of her thoughts. The twins were staring at her.

"Huh, sorry. What were you guys talking about?" Wendy asked. Dipper nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, Mabel had this idea about the journal." Dipper started. Before he could continue, Mabel leapt in, interrupting him.

"We should become detectives!" Mabel burst out.

"What?" Wendy asked, perplexed.

"All those people go missing, and with the journal, we have an edge on figuring out why. We can go out, find out what happened to them, inform the police, and be heroes; like Ducktective!" Mabel explained.

Wendy stared at the younger girl for several moments as she considered it. Wendy knew that the twins would likely still look into the things in the journal, and if she tried to restrict their activities, after telling them that she would accompany them on any mystery they wanted to investigate; they would likely call her a hypocrite and just do it in secret. Not to mention that if Cipher's warning was true, then things would come to them, like with the Gobblewonker, rather than them going to the creatures. And if something happened to Dipper and Mabel because Wendy was not around, she did not know what she would do with herself.

"Okay, so where do we start?" Wendy inquired.

* * *

**Nighttime; Gravity Falls Lake**

Ranger Tate McGucket puttered around the ranger shack as he prepared to go to sleep after the long day of dealing with the opening day of fishing season. No one had expected the Pisces family to lose the opening day competition, especially not to the Mystery Shack. It was a surprise, a rather unpleasant one for him, considering the size of the catfish that they had caught. Usually the contest rendered a small profit for the Gravity Falls Fishing and Wildlife Department; but this year the department actually owed money after costs and the prize money were calculated. It left a sour taste in the ranger's mouth.

McGucket took a look out the lakeside window as he locked the front door, checking for any lights on the lake. He didn't really mind anyone fishing late at night, particularly since he was confident in his ability to identify the various boats and their owners simply by their lights. The lake was clear, but the dock was not. The ranger growled as he threw open the door and walked towards hooded figure, his pen light illuminating the stranger he now recognized.

"Damnit Robbie, it doesn't matter how many times you tell the joke, the Gobblewonker is not interested in your 'tree fiddy'." Tate called out as he approached the figure. The figure stood motionless, staring out at the lake. McGucket grabbed the figure's shoulder, spinning it around as he debated whether or not he should bother calling Blubs to take the obviously high teen home, again.

It was not until the light illuminated the inhumanly handsome face and glittering black eyes that McGucket realized that this person was most assuredly _not _Valentino.

"Lord Opochtli, I didn't realize that you were in the area." Tate stammered, certain that he was about to be blasted into oblivion. The being smiled at him.

"Have no fear, Tate McGucket. You were not meant to know that I was here; I suppose I lost track of the time and did not realize that you would still be up."

"It would probably help if you carried a watch." A voice spoke up from behind him. The ranger spun around and immediately recognized the person approaching.

"Quetzalcoatl will guide me to where I am needed, when I am needed." Opochtli answered. The man snorted.

"Featherhead couldn't guide himself up a staircase, much less do it in a timely manner." Realizing that he _did not_ want to be between the two men if they started a fight, Tate decided to excuse himself.

"My apologies Master, I'll let you two get to your business." Tate stated, bowing to the second man. The man waved him off.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll come find you if I need you. Chiclet and I have some project progress to discuss; or rather, the lack thereof." Tate eagerly took off, deciding to head into town to get drunk. It seemed like the prudent thing to do after meeting his master face to face; hopefully a stiff drink would get those gleaming golden eyes out of his head.

* * *

**Sorry for the long wait guys, but between work and trying to figure out what to do with my life, things have been hectic. Actually buckled down to get this chapter out before the finale. Just to let everyone know, I will not drop this story simply because the show ends. I fully intend to finish this story...unless I die, in which case you chumps are out of luck.**


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